This is my take on how most failed relationships look like. You meet a person, and you become interested in them. You may see a few red flags here and there, but you choose to ignore them. Why? You choose to see the best in them. It would be such a waste for you to leave the relationship just because you let a few red flags throw you off.
For a while, you get pleased at how everything is turning out. You are so excited at how everything seems to be falling into place. But then, things don’t seem to be so great anymore. Once all of the novelty of the relationship starts to fade off, the red flags that you used to ignore now demand to be felt. They now command your attention, and you can’t shake them anymore.
You’re desperate to try to make things work because you don’t want to be known as a quitter. Anyway, you have always been told that you should never quit on your relationships. You have always been taught that love is worth fighting for and that you should never give up so easily. So, like any good partner, you choose to fight for your relationship. You decide to work double-time to try to keep your relationship together.
But then, over time, you start to see that it’s just a losing battle at this point. You discover that no matter how hard you try, there is no way for you to salvage the relationship. You realize that your efforts are all going to waste and that it might be time for you to consider the idea of just walking away from it all entirely.
Ultimately, you decide to break things off because you know that you don’t have what it takes to carry the relationship on your own at this point. You’re broken hearted because you were so invested in the relationship. You are so sad because you thought that you would be able to make the relationship last. You are devastated because you felt that this would finally be your chance at finding success at love.
But then, all of your hopes have just fallen down the drain.
What is left for you to do but deal with your grief?
Of course, this might not necessarily be your situation correctly. However, the principles are all the same. You met a guy. You fell in love with a guy. And you had to break things off with this guy. Ultimately, it all ended with you breaking your heart. However, you have to know that your heartbreak is not the finality of the situation.
More than just being a harrowing experience, heartbreak is also a learning opportunity. You have to be able to use this opportunity to pick up a few lessons to help you become stronger and better about your situation. Here are a few lessons that you should have learned by now at this stage of your heartbreak:
1. You need to learn to fall in love with yourself.
You have to learn to fall in love with yourself after a heartbreak. After a romance with another person doesn’t go your way, you must always find a way to fall back on the love that you have for yourself.
2. You need to appreciate the people who are there for you.
You need to show a better sense of gratitude and appreciation for the people who are there for you. They are there for you at your weakest point, and that’s not something that you can be taking so lightly.
3. You need to be more serious about noticing red flags.
When you decide to date again, you need to take these red flags more seriously. You shouldn’t be so desperate to the point that you become willing to ignore them. You always have to take these red flags seriously. And you have to take some time to think about whether they are worth addressing or just tolerating.
4. You need to learn that you’re fully healed before you’re ready again.
You have to learn when you’re fully healed before you decide to jump right back into the waters again. You mustn’t carry any substantial emotional baggage from your previous relationship into a new one. You are only setting yourself up for more heartache. And it’s utterly unfair to the person you’re dating.
5. You need to learn when it’s okay to walk away.
If you are ever going to try your hand at love in the future again, then you have to know that you aren’t automatically going to find success just because it’s your second time around the block. If things don’t work out for you, then you need to learn when it’s time for you to walk away.
10 Signs That She Doesn’t Love You Anymore
Landing the girl of your dreams is a hard enough endeavor as it is. However, keeping her in your life is going to be just as hard. When you have a love of your life at your side, then you need to do whatever it takes to keep that person there. If you take her for granted, then you miss out on having this amazing woman there forever.
A girl isn’t going to break up with you out of the blue. She isn’t going to make that kind of decision so whimsically. After all, breakups are painful, and they’re hard. There isn’t one single thing that you do that would make her fall out of love with you. Naturally, it’s going to be an accumulation of factors that would lead her to make this decision.
If you are curious about whether your girl still loves you or not, there are a few signs that you can keep an eye out for. If you notice that she is exhibiting a lot of these signs, then it might be time for you to be worried.
1. She doesn’t ask about your life anymore.
She doesn’t try to ask you about your life anymore. It has gotten to a point wherein you start wishing that she would ask you about your day more. However, she has just wholly become disinterested in you and your personality. It’s as if she doesn’t care about you at this point.
2. She makes decisions on her own.
In the past, you always used to make decisions as a team. It would be reasonable for her to turn towards you whenever she was fazed by something. However, things are different now. Nowadays, she goes ahead and makes decisions on her own without even letting you know beforehand.
3. She doesn’t engage in arguments with you.
She no longer tries to engage in arguments with you. Instead of staying and fighting, she shuts down or walks away. You might see this as a victory. However, what this means is that she’s no longer looking to connect with you. Consequently, she doesn’t care about what you say or think.
4. She doesn’t express gratitude for your efforts.
Whenever you try to do something beautiful for her, she shuts you down. It always hurts to have your efforts and your gestures dismissed by the one you love. However, you should be taking this as a real sign that she’s no longer as in love with you as she once was.
5. She doesn’t make an effort to be physically intimate with you.
Physical intimacy is always going to be one of the most essential facets of a romantic relationship. Consequently, if you notice that she doesn’t make that effort to be intimate with you, something must be wrong. After all, it’s not like you weren’t physically close with one another in the past.
6. She seems more irritable when she’s around you.
It’s as if she’s just in a perpetual bad mood whenever she’s around you. She doesn’t seem to enjoy the time that you spend together anymore. Granted, you have your bad days as well. But it just feels like she never feels happy when the two of you are together anymore.
7. She doesn’t make an effort to look good for you anymore.
She used to always care about how you saw her. After all, she loved you with all of her heart. But now, she doesn’t care what perception you might have of her. She doesn’t make an effort to look good anymore.
8. She seems disinterested in the relationship.
It’s as if she’s become disinterested in the relationship. She doesn’t make an effort, and she doesn’t care.
9. She nags all of the time now.
Instead of saying beautiful and sweet things, she nags all of the time. Instead of trying to spread positivity, it’s all just negative energy that emanates from her. Undoubtedly, this is because she’s fed up and she’s tired of being in this relationship.
10. She puts more time into her hobbies than your relationship.
Naturally, it’s perfectly okay for people to have lives outside of their relationships. However, with her case, it’s almost as if the relationship doesn’t exist. She’s just devoting most of her time to her hobbies and her career. It’s a sign that her priorities have shifted at this point.
8 Signs You Were Right To Break Up With Your Ex Even If You’re In Pain
Breakups hurt. There is just no getting around that fact. They cut for a reason too. After all, you were once in love with the person you broke up with. Heck, it’s even possible that you were still in love with them when you guys broke up.
When you first become interested in someone, it’s always an exciting thing. You test the waters, and you try to see if the two of you have a chance with one another. You check if the two of you have a shot at making things last. But ultimately, your curiosity and your eagerness win out. You decide that maybe this is worth taking a chance on.
So, you try to get to know one another. You see that there’s some serious potential here, and so you allow yourself to fall in love with them gradually. It’s in your best interests to take things slowly so that you don’t rush into anything. However, you can’t deny what you feel. You know that this is something real here and you would hate yourself if you didn’t give it a try.
However, in spite of your best intentions, relationships don’t always go your way. Sometimes, a relationship can take a sour turn. And whenever that happens, it becomes tough to sustain a relationship. It can even get to a point wherein the two of you contemplate the idea of you just going your separate paths. This is not ideal. And it might not be what you want. But it’s something that you have to do.
You break up, and you deal with the fact that you’re no longer together. However, you can’t seem to shake that feeling of sadness and heartache from your system. You feel so sad and empty. You are in severe pain, and you don’t know if what you did was the right thing to do. But here’s the thing: just because you feel bad about it doesn’t mean that you made the wrong decision. Here are a few signs that it was right for the two of you to break up:
1. You lost your sense of identity in the relationship.
You should never lose your sense of identity for the sake of a relationship. If you were barred from doing the things that you wanted to do when you were in a relationship, then it’s only right that you ended things. You should always have your freedom and sense of self even when you’re in a relationship.
2. You weren’t growing in your relationship anymore.
Growth is significant on both a relationship level and on a personal level. The reason you always need to grow in life is so you can continuously adapt to changing circumstances. It’s the same with your relationship as well. A lack of growth is a sign of dysfunction in a relationship.
3. You felt terrified of your partner.
Fear should never be a driving force in a relationship. There can be no real love in a relationship when there is a surplus of fear.
4. You didn’t know where you were going in life.
The direction is always going to be necessary. You still need to be thinking about the future so that you know that you’re moving backward. If you’re wandering about aimlessly, then that can be bad for your personal growth and development. That’s why you need a relationship that has direction.
5. Your friends and family were telling you to get out.
You don’t want to be living your life based on the expectations and feelings of other people. However, if the people who care most about you are saying that the relationship was bad for you, perhaps it’s worth paying attention to.
6. You came to expect disappointment.
Disappointment should never be the norm in a relationship. If you found yourself feeling disappointed continuously about the state of your relationship, then that means that your expectations weren’t being met. And you should never be in a relationship that doesn’t meet your standards and expectations.
7. You felt like you didn’t have a voice.
You should always be made to feel like you have a voice in a healthy relationship. The fact that you felt like you were being censored and silenced in your relationship is proof enough that you were right to break up. You should never have to be quiet in your relationship.
8. You weren’t happy anymore.
And of course, you should always be in a relationship that makes you happy. There’s no point in staying in a relationship that doesn’t bring you any sense of happiness anymore. Happiness is something that you should never compromise. You might feel bad now. But being single is better than being in an unhappy relationship.
If He Does These 7 Things, You Shouldn’t Give Him A Second Chance
Mistakes happen. They happen a lot in relationships. No matter how hard you might try, it’s so hard to be perfect in a relationship. Truthfully, it’s practically impossible. However, that doesn’t mean that all relationships are doomed as a result. Yes, love and relationships might be imperfect. But that doesn’t have to expect that no relationships could last. This is where the values of patience and understanding come in. So as long as you try to stay patient with the partner that you’re with, you are going to turn out fine.
After all, you have to be willing to acknowledge the fact that your partner isn’t always going to do the right thing. And what that means is that you have to develop a tolerance for their pitfalls and mistakes. Naturally, this means being able to give them second, third, or even fourth chances. However, you also have to make sure that they are worthy of it. Sometimes, it’s just a lot better for you to walk away from someone than to try to force the issue.
How do you know?
Of course, you might ask the question. How do you know? How can you be sure if the person you’re with is worthy of that second chance? How do you know if it would be more apt for you to walk away entirely? Well, if you’re asking yourself these questions, then you have come to the right place. Sometimes, you have to be honest with yourself about the state of your relationship. If you find that a lot of the things listed here apply to your partner, then maybe you should rethink being in this relationship.
Here are a few signs that the person you’re with isn’t worth giving a second chance to.
1. They refuse to accept responsibility for their actions.
They aren’t interested in owning up to their mistakes and shortcomings. In their eyes, they think they can do no wrong. They always seem like perfect creatures who always do the right thing. However, you know that they can be destructive in their thoughts, habits, and words.
2. They don’t apologize for their mistakes.
They don’t have any interest in apologizing to you. They don’t care about the fact that they’ve hurt you or done something wrong. Even when they know that they’ve screwed up, they would never want to admit that to you. They are just too proud to apologize for anything. They don’t want to give you that satisfaction or peace of mind.
3. They focus the attention on all of the shortcomings that you have had.
Instead of just acknowledging the fact that they’ve screwed up, they would instead highlight the fact that you’ve done them wrong. They would want to put the highlight on all the ways that you’ve screwed up to take the attention away from themselves.
4. They make you feel wrong about who you are.
They have a way of just making you feel wrong about being the person that you are. Instead of you feeling proud of yourself, they just put you down. They try to diminish and degrade whatever confidence you might have.
5. They tell you that your feelings are invalid.
They tell you that your feelings are entirely invalid. When you express displeasure at something that they’ve done, they tell you that you’re just overreacting. They wholly invalidate any thoughts, feelings, sentiments, or opinions that you might have of them.
6. They use your feelings of guilt against you.
They know that they have the power to make you feel guilty about whatever shortcomings you might have. And they know that they can use this against you as well. After all, they are masters of manipulation. And they are interested in getting you to do exactly what they want you to do regardless if it’s right for you or not.
7. They make the same mistakes over and over again.
No matter how bad it might make you feel, they aren’t shy about committing the same mistakes over and over again towards you. They prove their insensitivity, and they don’t care that their actions can have negative impacts on you.
As difficult as it might be to let someone you love go, it’s necessary sometimes. You have to love yourself before you love anyone else. After all, you always have to be the priority in your own life. That means that if someone isn’t treating you in the manner that you deserve, you need to dump this person altogether. You should always be looking after your well-being. And if someone ceases to add value to your life, it shouldn’t be too hard for you to decide to walk away from that individual.