This is my take on how most failed relationships look like. You meet a person, and you become interested in them. You may see a few red flags here and there, but you choose to ignore them. Why? You choose to see the best in them. It would be such a waste for you to leave the relationship just because you let a few red flags throw you off.
For a while, you get pleased at how everything is turning out. You are so excited at how everything seems to be falling into place. But then, things don’t seem to be so great anymore. Once all of the novelty of the relationship starts to fade off, the red flags that you used to ignore now demand to be felt. They now command your attention, and you can’t shake them anymore.
You’re desperate to try to make things work because you don’t want to be known as a quitter. Anyway, you have always been told that you should never quit on your relationships. You have always been taught that love is worth fighting for and that you should never give up so easily. So, like any good partner, you choose to fight for your relationship. You decide to work double-time to try to keep your relationship together.
But then, over time, you start to see that it’s just a losing battle at this point. You discover that no matter how hard you try, there is no way for you to salvage the relationship. You realize that your efforts are all going to waste and that it might be time for you to consider the idea of just walking away from it all entirely.
Ultimately, you decide to break things off because you know that you don’t have what it takes to carry the relationship on your own at this point. You’re broken hearted because you were so invested in the relationship. You are so sad because you thought that you would be able to make the relationship last. You are devastated because you felt that this would finally be your chance at finding success at love.
But then, all of your hopes have just fallen down the drain.
What is left for you to do but deal with your grief?
Of course, this might not necessarily be your situation correctly. However, the principles are all the same. You met a guy. You fell in love with a guy. And you had to break things off with this guy. Ultimately, it all ended with you breaking your heart. However, you have to know that your heartbreak is not the finality of the situation.
More than just being a harrowing experience, heartbreak is also a learning opportunity. You have to be able to use this opportunity to pick up a few lessons to help you become stronger and better about your situation. Here are a few lessons that you should have learned by now at this stage of your heartbreak:
1. You need to learn to fall in love with yourself.
You have to learn to fall in love with yourself after a heartbreak. After a romance with another person doesn’t go your way, you must always find a way to fall back on the love that you have for yourself.
2. You need to appreciate the people who are there for you.
You need to show a better sense of gratitude and appreciation for the people who are there for you. They are there for you at your weakest point, and that’s not something that you can be taking so lightly.
3. You need to be more serious about noticing red flags.
When you decide to date again, you need to take these red flags more seriously. You shouldn’t be so desperate to the point that you become willing to ignore them. You always have to take these red flags seriously. And you have to take some time to think about whether they are worth addressing or just tolerating.
4. You need to learn that you’re fully healed before you’re ready again.
You have to learn when you’re fully healed before you decide to jump right back into the waters again. You mustn’t carry any substantial emotional baggage from your previous relationship into a new one. You are only setting yourself up for more heartache. And it’s utterly unfair to the person you’re dating.
5. You need to learn when it’s okay to walk away.
If you are ever going to try your hand at love in the future again, then you have to know that you aren’t automatically going to find success just because it’s your second time around the block. If things don’t work out for you, then you need to learn when it’s time for you to walk away.
Mom-to-be Pens Heartbreaking Note to Husband After his Sudden Death
A newlywed woman wrote a tearful letter to her dead husband in her sleep.
Shannen, her Lissel, who married her beloved in September 2022, is currently mourning the death of her beloved husband.
The couple have been together for five years. They got engaged in May 2021.
In December 2022, Shannen and Connor discovered that her girlfriend Lissel was pregnant. They all celebrated the good news with excitement.
But unfortunately Connor couldn’t even care for his pregnant wife for more than a few weeks and she passed away yesterday.
“It is with a heavy heart that I write these words. Her husband Connor died suddenly in her sleep yesterday morning,” Shannen wrote on Friday.
“Connor was the love of my life. He’s been the best husband, the best friend, the best family, the best fur baby daddy. It was planned to be.
She added that her late husband was an adrenaline junkie and he loved adventure. He had many hobbies and loved to be outdoors doing adventures on beaches and mountains.
“He loved surfing, he loved being in the water at the beach, he loved a coffee and a choccie, he was so much fun to travel with, to have a laugh with friends and family, he was always trying to live an exciting life that he was proud of, trying new things like fly fishing,” she wrote alongside a beautiful picture of herself and Connor on Facebook.
“He worked hard, he loved being creative with his art and music and he gave his whole heart to those he loved and had such a huge heart, empathy, and care for people he met.”
She added that Connor, who was supposed to turn 30 this year, was the `most rare` person she had ever met.
“I am so proud that I got to become his wife and spend 5 years, and 4 months with him. The memories that we have I will cherish forever and I will live the rest of my days reflecting on ways I can be more like him.”
She continued, “And when I welcome our baby into the world, he or she will be surrounded by everyone that loved him, to share memories about how beautiful of a person he was, and his memories will live on.”
Reading this, many people commented on Shannen`s post and offered their condolences. “My condolences to my beloved Shannen. Sending lots of love and strength,” she wrote.
“Shannen, I’m so sorry for your loss. He was such an amazing person and he loved you so much and was sending you all his love,” said another.
“I’m so sorry for the loss of your baby,” one-third commented.
“I’m so sorry that this happened to you too. It’s really heartbreaking to hear this news. Life can be so unfair,’ she chimed in.
“You are not alone. There is endless support around you to help you get through this.”
A GoFundMe was set up in Shannen’s name to cover the costs of Connor’s memorial service and to help Shannen during this difficult time.
To date, GoFundMe has raised him $26,065.
Share your thoughts:
During this difficult time, our hearts go out to Shannen his Lissel. You can help her out by donating to her GoFundMe. Let us know your thoughts in the comments.
8 Keys for Breaking Bad Habits!
Bad habits are behaviors that are detrimental to our physical, mental, or emotional well-being. They can range from minor actions like biting your nails or procrastinating, to more serious issues like smoking or overeating. Some common bad habits include:
- Overeating or undereating
- Smoking or other substance abuse
- Lack of exercise or physical activity
- Excessive alcohol consumption
- Negative self-talk or thinking
- Gossiping or speaking negatively about others
- Spending too much time on screens
- Spending or wasting money
- Interrupting or talking over others
Breaking bad habits can be difficult, but it is possible with the right mindset and strategies. Identifying the triggers and creating a plan to replace the bad habit with a positive behavior can be helpful in overcoming the habit. Additionally, getting accountability and support from friends and loved ones, rewarding yourself for progress, and being patient and persistent can also aid in breaking bad habits.
8 Keys for Breaking Bad Habits!
- Identify the habit: Be clear about the habit you want to change.
- Understand the triggers: Identify the situations or emotions that trigger the habit.
- Find a replacement behavior: Find a positive behavior that can replace the bad habit.
- Make a plan: Create a plan to implement the replacement behavior.
- Get accountability: Find someone to hold you accountable for making the change.
- Reward yourself: Reward yourself for making progress towards breaking the bad habit.
- Be patient: Change takes time, so be patient with yourself.
- Stay persistent: Keep working on breaking the bad habit, even if you slip up.
True Motives for “Sorry, I Didn’t Mean It!”
When you are with a child or an adult, at some point you may be told, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to” or “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to.” to hurt you.” And the child or person continues happily as if nothing had happened.
But if we didn’t mean it, why would we? Why would we dismiss our actions so easily with a casual comment? The underlying meaning of communication is its truth
When we hurt someone, why do we ease their pain by telling ourselves it wasn’t what we meant? It’s like the “I don’t know” response from a teenager, a cryptic comment meant to discourage further discovery. However, “I didn’t mean to do that” became so obvious that it was accepted as the truth.
Let’s look a little deeper.
Every action speaks louder and truer than our words. When our words don’t match our actions, it’s our actions that show our true motives. Famous words of the late Austrian psychiatrist Dr. Alfred Adler:
“Trust only movement. Life happens on the level of events, not words.”
The biggest causes of toxic behavior are unprocessed emotions, unconscious pain, and unmet needs. Perhaps “unintentionally” means that it was not caused by any conscious thought or motive. But when you look deeper, you often find hidden feelings and unmet needs that you haven’t yet recognized.
When we hurt others, we hurt ourselves. Unkind acts towards others can be an unconscious way of communicating our pain and sending out an SOS that we are hurt. It may have been a specific person.
Of course, hurtful words can inadvertently come to the side if you drink too much or if your self-control is wavering because you’ve lost your ability to control yourself cognitively due to your addiction.
But even in these situations, there are words that derive from the unresolved emotions and pain that emerge when impulse control is compromised.
In children, their ability to control themselves is affected by developmental immaturity and brain development. As such, it is the responsibility of adults to control their emotions and teach them how to express them in a healthy way.
My point here is to be more aware of your feelings and pay attention to your words, which can help you hurt or build healthy relationships.
Motivation for driving behavior
How many times has your spouse come home and yell at your children? Did they do it because they were mad at their children? Not normal. A difficult day at work or the emergence of unmet needs is far more likely to be the cause.
A child may come to school and push other children or teenagers around to bully them. Another student may be emotionally humiliated not because the person did something to them, but because of feelings of helplessness, misunderstood inner conflict, or unacknowledged hurt feelings. Unloving behavior does not make a person bad. It makes you human. Also, unkind behavior usually indicates a need for self-care and self-compassion.
In all personal growth and in all relationships, the key to loving ourselves and each other is recognizing the roots of our actions.
We continue to lash out, react emotionally, and inadvertently lash out at others until we realize the causes of our actions and their beliefs. To improve communication, we need emotional intelligence and self-awareness.
Sometimes we have bad days and need someone to understand us, even if we are misbehaving. It’s also important to be honest. It doesn’t matter what your feelings are. Taking our whims out on others is undesirable in any relationship. Increased confidence: mean what you say, say what you want to say
You may have heard this proverb. Great advice. Search your heart every time you hear yourself say, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to.”
Is there any reason you could have intended it that way?
Have you experienced unintentionally repressed resentment because you were unable to express your feelings directly? Has this person recently ignored you or said something hurtful to you?
Or maybe it’s as simple as canceling a dinner date, even if there’s a good reason for it…how to recognize our inner motives and find what we need
A fundamental stepping stone to consciously loving and empathizing with others is identifying when you are unloved. If you do or say something unkind, ask yourself later. Be more honest with yourself. )
Next, find out what you need to do to restore your peaceful self-esteem. You may want to apologize, put on makeup, or talk to the person about what’s bothering you. Or maybe you just need to be more in touch with your emotions and empathize with yourself. Either way, act as soon as you feel what’s right.
Every time I go through this process, I feel inner peace and less and less anger towards others. Self-esteem grows every time you make a conscious effort to understand your true motives, rather than immediately dismissing your actions. And each time we take action to fix what is holding back intimacy in a relationship, more respect, intimacy and understanding are built.
The next time you hear yourself say, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to!” Dig a little deeper and find out if that’s true.