Being in love is such a wonderful feeling, sometimes even indescribable as to how much you adore a person. It’s when you are with this person that you’d feel you’re complete and that you can take anything as long as you have them but what if sometimes you feel as though you want to just end the relationship and move forward with your life?
No, it’s not like your typical lover’s quarrel; it’s not even a sign that you’re bipolar. There’s a term for these mixed feelings of love and hate towards your partner and that’s called a love hate relationship.
What is a love hate relationship?
Is there such thing as loving and hating someone at the same time and maintaining a relationship with them in the process? It takes someone to feel such intense emotions to be in a love hate relationship as you can sway from one intense emotion to another.
A love hate relationship can occur not just with a lover but also with a friend and even with your sibling but today, we’re focusing on romantic relationships.
It’s normal to have feelings of anger, resentment, and a little bit of hate when you and your partner argue but when it’s happening more often that it should and instead of breaking up for good, you feel that you’re getting stronger — you might be in a love hate relationship.
This relationship can surely be an emotional roller coaster with the intense emotions being felt by the couple. It’s both liberating yet draining, it’s exciting yet tiring, passionate yet aggressive and at some point you’ll have to ask yourself – is there really a future for this type of relationship?
Love hate relationship by definition
Let’s define love hate relationship – this type of relationship is characterized by extreme and sudden shift of conflicting emotions of love and hate.
It can be draining when you’re fighting and hating each other but all of these can change and you’re back to your loving relationship again.
At some point, some may say that the feeling of reconciling after a fight and how each one tries their best to make it up for the shortcomings can feel like an emotional addiction but overtime, this can cause abusive patterns that can lead to destructive actions.
Are you in a love hate relationship?
Just how do you differentiate love hate relationship with the usual lover’s quarrel? Here are the signs to watch for.
- While other couples have arguments, you and your partner take it to another level. Your usual fight goes to extremes and will mostly lead to breaking up and only getting back again after a few days. It’s a cycle of on and off relationship with extreme arguments.
- In all honesty, do you see yourself growing old with your partner with whom you share a love hate relationship? Sure it’s all tolerable now but if you can’t imagine yourself with this person and with the pattern of relationship that you have now then you might need to start fixing the relationship.
- Sure you can be both intimate, passionate, and feel that great sexual tension but how about that deep connection where you can talk about your life goals and your future?
- Do you feel that you have a baggage of unresolved issues that might be contributing to your love hate relationship? That these emotions and past issues only make things worse?
- You have so many things that you hate about each other but you don’t do anything to really address the issue and resolve it. You just pacify the anger and hate until it explodes back again.
- Do you talk behind your partner’s back to your friends? Is this a way to vent out your frustration and problems?
- Do you feel that the thrill of fighting and proving whose wrong then making out after the fight isn’t really giving you a real relationship but is instead just giving way to a temporary release of frustrations?
Psychology of relationships and love
The psychology of relationships and love can be very confusing and we have to understand that there will be different emotions that will affect how we handle our relationships. Love does come in many forms and romantic love is just one of them. When finding your suitable partner, both should work hard to be better and to fulfill a deeper meaning of life.
While arguments and disagreements are normal, it shouldn’t just cause mixed feelings of hate but also an opportunity to grow emotionally and change.
This way, both partners would want to work on their personal development together.
The deal with love hate relationship is that both parties dwell on extreme emotions and issues and instead of working on the issues, they would just resort to arguing and proving their point only to be pacified by their “love” and the cycle goes on.
The real deal with love hate relationship
Some may think that they love each other so much and that this love hate relationship is a product of their extreme love for each other but it’s not. In fact, it’s not a healthy way to have a relationship. A real relationship will work on the issue and will make sure that open communication is always there. The sad truth here is that with love hate relationship can just give you a false feeling of being wanted and being able to go against all odds for your love but the thing here is that over time this can even lead to abuse and nobody wants that.
True love is never selfish, you just don’t accept that love hate relationship is normal and will eventually be okay – because it won’t. This is a very unhealthy relationship and will not do you any good.
Consider ways on how you can be better not just as a person but as a couple. It’s never too late to change for the better and to have a relationship centered on love and respect.
8 Kissing Positions To Improve The Quality of Your Foreplay
Try to think back to the first time you ever kissed someone. In all likelihood, it probably wasn’t that good. And now, try to think back about the kisses that you’ve had since then. You have probably gotten better at it over time, right? If not, then that’s just sad and this article is definitely for you. But even if you think that your kissing game is on point, you need to know that there is always room for improvement.
Even though when you get older, kissing is still going to have to be taken seriously. Sure, having sex and making love is surely going to take centre stage. But you still can’t take kissing for granted. You can’t discount it. You have to know that it should still very much be an important part of anyone’s sexual repertoire.
Remember the days of first base? Those late nights sitting on the couch with your crush after your parents went to bed, hoping he’d lean over in the middle of She’s All That and just plant one on you?
As you get older, the rush of being kissed often falls to the shadows, as the spotlight turns to, well, getting laid. But kissing is still an important part of the sexual repertoire.
“First of all, kissing is sex. It is one of the many ways we express ourselves sexually,” says Suzanne Rapley, a certified sex therapist.
And you shouldn’t forget that the lips and mouth are actually loaded with nerve endings. That’s according to Emily deAyala, a certified sex therapist as well. And the manipulation and stimulation of these nerves are actually important in creating a certain sensation in the build-up to sexual intimacy. She adds, “Many people are guilty of jumping into intercourse too quickly, but spending more time making out can do wonders to stimulate sexual pleasure and improve intimacy in the relationship.”
If you are interested in taking your kissing game to the next level, then you should probably give these positions a try.
1. The Side-by-Side Kiss
This is probably the kissing position for a lot of first-time kissers. This is the common kissing position for couples who are sitting alongside one another on a park bench overlooking a view, on the couch watching TV, or on the movie seats watching the cinema screen.
2. The Soft Hickey
The soft hickey is always a really nice way to build up to sex. There’s just something so naturally sexy and romantic about gently sucking on the skin of your partner. It’s the kind of kiss that screams both love and passion at the same time. Be sure to be gentle about it.
3. The Chest-to-Chest Kiss
This is one of the most basic but also most effective kinds of kissing positions. This is when the two of you are both in a standing position as you face one another. You both lock yourselves in a really passionate kiss while your hands travel throughout different parts of each other’s bodies. Add some extra spice and closeness by having your chests get in contact with one another.
4. The Girl-on-Top Kiss
It’s always so sexy whenever the two of you are kissing while you’re lying down. But ideally, you would want the girl to be on top in this scenario. It’s always more likely that the guy would be able to handle having the woman’s dead weight on him.
5. The Tongue-Only Kiss
Hey, it’s called the French kiss for a reason, right? And if there’s one thing the French know how to do, it definitely loves. So don’t be afraid to swap some saliva with your partner by making use of that tongue of yours.
6. The “I Must Have You” Kiss
This is the kiss that requires no words at all. It’s when you both see each other and you immediately jump into a deep and passionate snog with one another. This is the “I must have you” kiss wherein you want to lock lips with one another before you even consider doing anything else.
7. The Spiderman Kiss
Chances are if you are reading this, you haven’t been bitten by a radioactive spider that has given you the power to hang upside down from a web. You are probably already familiar with the Spiderman movie with Tobey Maguire and the amazing kiss he shared with Kirsten Dunst.
You don’t have to be dangling from the ceiling to perform this kiss though. You just have to be lying down. And have her kiss you with the top of her head facing your feet.
8. The Anywhere But The Mouth Kiss
And this is the kind of kiss that will have your partner just hot with anticipation. They will long for you to kiss them in the mouth while you tease them with kisses everywhere else.
5 Ways Having Great Sex Can Help Save Your Relationship
Sex is definitely a lot of fun. There’s no denying that. But did you know that sex can have a lot of other upsides in your relationship as well? It’s more than just a fun activity that you and your partner can do together. Read on to find out more.
Good sex can actually help save your relationship. And it doesn’t really take a brain surgeon to figure out why.
Sex is a very integral aspect of any modern relationship that is built on honesty, trust, mutual respect, and love. In fact, sex can be just as important as communication, openness, and compatibility. That’s why having a healthy and active sex life can actually aid in rescuing your relationship from any hole that it might find itself in. Sex might even help you from falling into any holes, to begin with.
When you have sex with your partner, you are essentially strengthening the bond that you have together. And that is true in both a physical and an emotional sense. You are never as physically connected with your partner as you are when you’re having sex. And that physical connection can have a significant impact on the emotional bond that you might have as well.
You might think that it’s cruel or manipulative for you to use sex as a tool to save your relationship. But you shouldn’t be thinking that way at all. Sex is a perfect way to reconnect with your partner whenever you feel like there is some kind of distance between the two of you. It’s not an act of manipulation so as long as you always do it out of a place of love and mutual affection.
But is it really true that sex can help save your relationship even though it’s going through substantial trials and struggles? Would sex really be able to solve the fact that you and your partner don’t laugh so much anymore? Can sex help save your relationship that is on the brink of collapse? Well, we say that it can.
And if you’re not convinced, then this article is going to try to change your mind. You might not think that sex can have such a profound impact on your relationship but it really can. Again, it’s more than just a physical activity after all. Here are 5 ways that having great sex can actually help save your relationship.
1. Sex creates a very intimate connection between you and your partner.
When you have sex, you are sharing a very intimate connection. There is a real emotional bond between the two of you that is formed during sex. And it’s the kind of bond that you can’t really generate in any other aspect of life either. It’s a special kind of bond that is precious and unique only to you and your partner.
2. Orgasms can trigger the release of some feel-good chemicals.
It’s biology. Science has already proven that orgasms can actually trigger the release of hormones that can make a person feel better and happier. The moment that you reach orgasm, your body is going to be flooded with dopamine. It’s practically a natural high that you go through whenever you climax with your partner. And you generate that with one another which will further strengthen your bond.
3. Having sex is a lot of fun.
Oh, it’s a lot of fun. And don’t you dare deny it. It’s an opportunity for you two to actually generate some happy vibrations and energy in your relationship in a very natural and organic manner. So, when you find that there is a lot of negativity surrounding your relationship, maybe having sex would be enough to ease all of the stresses and tensions that you are feeling with one another.
4. It’s a great way to reconnect after drifting apart.
Whenever you find that there is some kind of emotional or physical distance between the two of you in your relationship, you can always turn to sex. Sex just has a way of making two people feel more connected to one another. And it’s not just something physical either. There are emotional variables that are at play here. And you are going to be able to tap into those feelings with sex.
5. Healthy sexual activity can boost overall satisfaction in a relationship.
It’s already been proven that sex can actually help boost the overall satisfaction that one might feel in a relationship. It shouldn’t come to anyone’s surprise anymore that human beings are going to have sexual needs. And when the two of you have some really good sexual chemistry, then you won’t feel compelled to have those needs fulfilled by anyone else anymore. You’ll be perfectly satisfied and happy with one another if you have a really strong sex life going on.
10 Signs He’s Only Interested In Hooking Up (As Revealed By A Man)
Well, you shouldn’t really be surprised to know by now that a lot of guys are only ever really going to be interested in hooking up. And if that’s your thing as well, that’s fine. Just make sure that you are clear and upfront about it at the start. You never want to be leading someone on. And you don’t want to be led on by any man either. If you’re looking for true love, you don’t want some guy to be playing you just to get into your pants.
But there are a lot of guys out there who will only wine and dine you until you give it up and actually give them what they want – your body. And once you do, they’re done with you. Once they’re tired of you, they will move on to another target. And you will be left trying to mend a broken heart.
That’s why you always want to make a conscious effort to keep yourself protected. Stay clear of the guys who are only looking to hook up with you. You always want to be with someone who is going to treat you seriously. You want to be with a man who is actually going to treat you with dignity. You want a man who won’t just be using you for your body.
And so at the earliest signs of danger, you need to make sure that you get out. Once you know that you’re dating a guy who only wants to hook up with you, then you need to call him out on it. If he doesn’t get serious with you, then dump him. Move on. Find someone better.
1. He is constantly surrounded by women.
He’s always just surrounded by women. It goes to show that he’s a player. He’s someone who always just wants to be keeping his options open. He sees women like their playthings.
2. He doesn’t really open up to you.
He doesn’t really like to open up to you. He always keeps to himself. He doesn’t say much to you. He doesn’t show that he’s comfortable with letting you get to know him better. That’s a sign that he’s not really emotionally invested in being with you in an intimate capacity.
3. He only ever really compliments you on your looks.
He only ever really compliments you about the way that you look. He never tells you that he thinks you’re talented. He doesn’t say anything to show that he admires your personality. Nope. He’s always just focused on how you look. And that means he only sees you as an object of visual pleasure.
4. He always just wants to stay in.
He’s always just interested in staying at home with you. He does this for a few reasons. For one, it allows him to get intimate with you right away. And two, he doesn’t have to show you off to the world and so he can still keep himself on the market.
5. He gets handsy right away.
A man can do a lot to mask his feelings with the words that he says. But he usually shows his true colours through his actions. And when he’s getting really handsy with you early on in your relationship, then you can really tell where his priorities lie at that point. You know that he just wants to start getting physical right away.
6. He just always agrees with everything you say.
You might think that it’s a good thing that he’s always just agreeing with everything that you say. But don’t be fooled. No two people are ever going to agree on everything in life. That is why if you notice him just agreeing with you all the time, you can know he’s being fake and he just wants something from you.
7. He doesn’t ask you serious questions about your life.
He doesn’t really ask you serious questions about your life. He’s always just keeping things light and casual. That means that he really isn’t interested in getting to know you. He’s not interested in exploring your personality more profoundly.
8. He doesn’t introduce you to his friends.
It should be really telling if he just doesn’t introduce you to his friends. That means that he doesn’t consider you important enough to actually be a permanent fixture in his life. He isn’t interested in integrating you within his social circle.
9. Foreplay is always really fast.
He always just rushes through foreplay. He wants to get to the point. He just wants what he really wants – sex.
10. Your instincts are telling you that something is really off.
And of course, you’re going to always have to listen to your gut whenever it’s trying to tell you that something is off. Your instincts are there to protect you. You have to make sure that you listen to them so that you don’t end up getting betrayed by your own feelings.