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Single? Looking for Love? Never Do This

Realizing the characteristics of a lover that will never work for them

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Photo: Relationship Quotes

Millions of men and women right now, are looking for love. Searching for love. And most of them will make the same mistake that they made in the past.

Even unaware that they’re making major errors in the world of dating.

For the last 29 years, number one best-selling author, counselor and life coach David Essel has been helping millions of people to get on the right track in order to find the deepest of love.

One key that will make or break your chances of finding love

Below, David discusses the one major key separating point that will determine, if you’re single right now if you’ll find that love you’re looking for, or not. “There is so much pressure in society to be in love.

Women, especially, are immersed on a daily basis with articles in magazines, the Internet, radio and television interviews stating that if you’re a mature female, without a partner, there must be something wrong with you.

Men, many times, can also feel the pressure from family members, and colleagues as they look around and see couples that seem to be happy, or maybe starting families, and we as men feel that we’re behind the eight ball.

The pressure to date, fall in love is huge

So the pressure to date, fall in love, and even possibly have a family is so huge, that most of us don’t even realize we make one major mistake that could easily block any chances of having a healthy and happy relationship in the future.

And what is that one major mistake, that if we don’t change right now, will pretty much guarantee a life filled with relationships that are less than what we had hoped?

Don’t date until you are extremely happy by yourselves

It’s this: we should never, ever, ever date until we are extremely happy by ourselves being single.

What do most individuals do at the end of a relationship? They look to jump right into another one.To avoid looking within.

To avoid looking at their repeated roles that sabotage love in their lives.

Realizing the characteristics of a lover that will never work for them

They jump so quickly into someone else’s bed, that they don’t realize the characteristics of a lover that will never work for them. And the odds are unless you’re slowing down and find a way to be introspective with your past mistakes, and at the same time finding a path to happiness alone, love will be futile.

In our newest mystical romance novel called “Angel on a surfboard: A mystical romance novel that explores the keys to deep love“,  we discuss the six major keys that we all need to understand in order to create a deep, loving relationship.

And one of those keys?

One of the keys is that we need to learn to be super happy single, before we go back into the world of dating.

In this exciting and roller coaster like novel, the lead character Sandy Tavish, a relationship expert who is also searching for the keys to deep love that he  may have missed as he writes his book in the Hawaiian islands, meets a retired female surfer who is absolutely beautiful, but extremely jaded when it comes to men and the world of dating.

Even with all of her beauty, she carries with her  a stigma from something that happened in the past, that keeps her in this constant state of frustration, and jadedness regarding men and relationships.

In their conversations on the beach, Sandy explained to her the key importance of taking downtime, and creating a happy life while we’re  single, in order to attract someone else who is also single and more importantly happy with themselves in the world of singlehood.

It takes quite a bit of prodding by Sandy to get this retired female surfer, Jenn, on board with his philosophy but  by the end of the book she sees the wisdom that Sandy is preaching.

Releasing resentments against former lovers

There are also five other incredibly important keys to deep love we examine throughout this exciting book, but for those who are single right now reading this article, there’s nothing more important than slowing down, working with a professional to release your resentments against former lovers, and then creating a dynamic happy life right now.

It is only when we are supremely happy with ourselves as a single person, that we can truly offer the next relationship everything we have regarding our gifts, talents, and love.

So right now, if you’re single, slow down and pay attention to this article.

For the past almost 30 years I’ve helped thousands of individuals to follow the program that we stated above, and to become incredibly happy without a partner, so they can finally find that fulfilling relationship that eludes most of us in life.

It’s worth the work. It’s worth being patient. And it’s worth being single a little longer until you find that path that combines  happiness and singlehood.

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Intimacy & Sex

10 Signs He’s Faking His Love Just To Get You In Bed

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If you’re truly as hopeful and as innocent as can be, then it might be likely that you are prone to being naive when it comes to the game of love and relationships. You might think that every single person out there on the dating scene is looking for a long-term romance. You might believe that everyone has noble intentions and only wants to feel and experience love with someone else. However, you would be wrong.

As sad as it might be to think about or acknowledge, there are so many people all over the world who are just plainly disgusting and despicable. Even though you go into dating and relationships with the best of intentions, not all people are going to share your sincerity. There are so many guys out there who are only looking to use and abuse you for your body. Being in a long-term relationship could be the farthest thing from their minds, and they’re going to do or say anything to score with you.

And you don’t want to be entertaining guys like that. You don’t want to be subjecting yourself to their abuse and manipulation. You would never want to allow yourself to be used in such a manner. You are a human being and you are so much more than just a sexual object. You shouldn’t be so willing to sell yourself short like that. You shouldn’t be so okay with just having a guy objectify you like some kind of toy. That’s why you always want to make sure that you take guys like this out of your life.

But how do you do that when they’re so good at hiding their true intentions? How do you know when a guy is being genuine and when he’s just being fake? You don’t want to be shutting yourself off from love completely. But you don’t want to be setting yourself up to get hurt either. So, what do you do?

This article is going to help open your eyes to the many red flags that you need to be on the lookout for if you’re going to be dating someone. The moment that you see your man doing a lot of the things listed here, then you better take action. It’s likely that he’s just looking to get you into bed with him.

1. He only cares about finishing himself in bed.

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Whenever the two of you get physically intimate, he only looks to finish himself. He couldn’t care less about meeting your sexual needs.

2. He hasn’t introduced you to his friends and family.

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Even though the two of you have already gotten intimate with one another, he still hasn’t introduced you to all of the important people in his life. He has been hiding you from his friends and family.

3. He goes out without you a lot.

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He seems to be going out a lot but he never wants to invite you. He’s always just out with his group of buddies and he doesn’t seem interested in asking you to join in.

4. He has a history of being a player.

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If he has a history or a reputation for being a player, then you should be very wary of his type. It’s unlikely that he has changed just for you.

5. He still has his dating apps on his phone.

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He’s still looking to keep his options open. It shows that the only attachment that he has to you is physical. Emotionally, he’s still searching.

6. He ditches plans on you last-minute consistently.

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He isn’t really a man of his word. He doesn’t show you any signs that he’s willing to seriously commit to being with you for the long term.

7. Most of the time you spend together is in the bedroom.

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It’s as if the only time that the two of you ever hang out is when you’re in the bedroom together. You rarely ever get to spend time with one another outside of that. He never really asks you out on real dates.

8. He doesn’t really talk about the future with you.

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He doesn’t really try to talk to you about the future. He’s always just content with living in the present. Whenever you try to discuss future plans, he just immediately changes the topic.

9. He doesn’t let you stay the night.

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Whenever you guys do it at his place, he’s always adamant about you not staying the night. He knows that there is a certain emotional weight in allowing you to stay over and he doesn’t want that.

10. The only kind of intimacy you have is physical.

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Intimacy & Sex

5 Ways Having Great Sex Can Help Save Your Relationship

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Sex is definitely a lot of fun. There’s no denying that. But did you know that sex can have a lot of other upsides in your relationship as well? It’s more than just a fun activity that you and your partner can do together. Read on to find out more.

Good sex can actually help save your relationship. And it doesn’t really take a brain surgeon to figure out why

Sex is a very integral aspect of any modern relationship that is built on honesty, trust, mutual respect, and love. In fact, sex can be just as important as communication, openness, and compatibility. That’s why having a healthy and active sex life can actually aid in rescuing your relationship from any hole that it might find itself in. Sex might even help you from falling into any holes, to begin with.

When you have sex with your partner, you are essentially strengthening the bond that you have together. And that is true in both a physical and an emotional sense. You are never as physically connected with your partner as you are when you’re having sex. And that physical connection can have a significant impact on the emotional bond that you might have as well.

You might think that it’s cruel or manipulative for you to use sex as a tool to save your relationship. But you shouldn’t be thinking that way at all. Sex is a perfect way to reconnect with your partner whenever you feel like there is some kind of distance between the two of you. It’s not an act of manipulation so as long as you always do it out of a place of love and mutual affection.

But is it really true that sex can help save your relationship even though it’s going through substantial trials and struggles? Would sex really be able to solve the fact that you and your partner don’t laugh so much anymore? Can sex help save your relationship that is on the brink of collapse? Well, we say that it can.

And if you’re not convinced, then this article is going to try to change your mind. You might not think that sex can have such a profound impact on your relationship but it really can. Again, it’s more than just a physical activity after all. Here are 5 ways that having great sex can actually help save your relationship.

1. Sex creates a very intimate connection between you and your partner.

When you have sex, you are sharing a very intimate connection. There is a real emotional bond between the two of you that is formed during sex. And it’s the kind of bond that you can’t really generate in any other aspect of life either. It’s a special kind of bond that is precious and unique only to you and your partner.

2. Orgasms can trigger the release of some feel-good chemicals.

It’s biology. Science has already proven that orgasms can actually trigger the release of hormones that can make a person feel better and happier. The moment that you reach orgasm, your body is going to be flooded with dopamine. It’s practically a natural high that you go through whenever you climax with your partner. And you generate that with one another which will further strengthen your bond.

3. Having sex is a lot of fun.

Oh, it’s a lot of fun. And don’t you dare deny it. It’s an opportunity for you two to actually generate some happy vibrations and energy in your relationship in a very natural and organic manner. So, when you find that there is a lot of negativity surrounding your relationship, maybe having sex would be enough to ease all of the stresses and tensions that you are feeling with one another.

4. It’s a great way to reconnect after drifting apart.

Whenever you find that there is some kind of emotional or physical distance between the two of you in your relationship, you can always turn to sex. Sex just has a way of making two people feel more connected to one another. And it’s not just something physical either. There are emotional variables that are at play here. And you are going to be able to tap into those feelings with sex.

5. Healthy sexual activity can boost overall satisfaction in a relationship.

It’s already been proven that sex can actually help boost the overall satisfaction that one might feel in a relationship. It shouldn’t come to anyone’s surprise anymore that human beings are going to have sexual needs. And when the two of you have some really good sexual chemistry, then you won’t feel compelled to have those needs fulfilled by anyone else anymore. You’ll be perfectly satisfied and happy with one another if you have a really strong sex life going on.

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Intimacy & Sex

What Does Love Hate Relationships Mean?

Consider ways on how you can be better not just as a person but as a couple. It’s never too late to change for the better and to have a relationship centered on love and respect.

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Photo: Relationship Quotes

Being in love is such a wonderful feeling, sometimes even indescribable as to how much you adore a person. It’s when you are with this person that you’d feel you’re complete and that you can take anything as long as you have them but what if sometimes you feel as though you want to just end the relationship and move forward with your life?

No, it’s not like your typical lover’s quarrel; it’s not even a sign that you’re bipolar. There’s a term for these mixed feelings of love and hate towards your partner and that’s called a love hate relationship.

What is a love hate relationship?

Is there such thing as loving and hating someone at the same time and maintaining a relationship with them in the process? It takes someone to feel such intense emotions to be in a love hate relationship as you can sway from one intense emotion to another.

love hate relationship can occur not just with a lover but also with a friend and even with your sibling but today, we’re focusing on romantic relationships.

It’s normal to have feelings of anger, resentment, and a little bit of hate when you and your partner argue but when it’s happening more often that it should and instead of breaking up for good, you feel that you’re getting stronger — you might be in a love hate relationship.

This relationship can surely be an emotional roller coaster with the intense emotions being felt by the couple. It’s both liberating yet draining, it’s exciting yet tiring, passionate yet aggressive and at some point you’ll have to ask yourself – is there really a future for this type of relationship?

Love hate relationship by definition

Let’s define love hate relationship – this type of relationship is characterized by extreme and sudden shift of conflicting emotions of love and hate.

It can be draining when you’re fighting and hating each other but all of these can change and you’re back to your loving relationship again.

At some point, some may say that the feeling of reconciling after a fight and how each one tries their best to make it up for the shortcomings can feel like an emotional addiction but overtime, this can cause abusive patterns that can lead to destructive actions.

Are you in a love hate relationship?

Just how do you differentiate love hate relationship with the usual lover’s quarrel? Here are the signs to watch for.

  1. While other couples have arguments, you and your partner take it to another level. Your usual fight goes to extremes and will mostly lead to breaking up and only getting back again after a few days. It’s a cycle of on and off relationship with extreme arguments.
  2. In all honesty, do you see yourself growing old with your partner with whom you share a love hate relationship? Sure it’s all tolerable now but if you can’t imagine yourself with this person and with the pattern of relationship that you have now then you might need to start fixing the relationship.
  3. Sure you can be both intimate, passionate, and feel that great sexual tension but how about that deep connection where you can talk about your life goals and your future?
  4. Do you feel that you have a baggage of unresolved issues that might be contributing to your love hate relationship? That these emotions and past issues only make things worse?
  5. You have so many things that you hate about each other but you don’t do anything to really address the issue and resolve it. You just pacify the anger and hate until it explodes back again.
  6. Do you talk behind your partner’s back to your friends? Is this a way to vent out your frustration and problems?
  7. Do you feel that the thrill of fighting and proving whose wrong then making out after the fight isn’t really giving you a real relationship but is instead just giving way to a temporary release of frustrations?

Psychology of relationships and love

The psychology of relationships and love can be very confusing and we have to understand that there will be different emotions that will affect how we handle our relationships. Love does come in many forms and romantic love is just one of them. When finding your suitable partner, both should work hard to be better and to fulfill a deeper meaning of life.

While arguments and disagreements are normal, it shouldn’t just cause mixed feelings of hate but also an opportunity to grow emotionally and change.

This way, both partners would want to work on their personal development together.

The deal with love hate relationship is that both parties dwell on extreme emotions and issues and instead of working on the issues, they would just resort to arguing and proving their point only to be pacified by their “love” and the cycle goes on.

The real deal with love hate relationship

Some may think that they love each other so much and that this love hate relationship is a product of their extreme love for each other but it’s not. In fact, it’s not a healthy way to have a relationship. A real relationship will work on the issue and will make sure that open communication is always there. The sad truth here is that with love hate relationship can just give you a false feeling of being wanted and being able to go against all odds for your love but the thing here is that over time this can even lead to abuse and nobody wants that.

True love is never selfish, you just don’t accept that love hate relationship is normal and will eventually be okay – because it won’t. This is a very unhealthy relationship and will not do you any good.

Consider ways on how you can be better not just as a person but as a couple. It’s never too late to change for the better and to have a relationship centered on love and respect.

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