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Giving up on Love – Easier Said Than Done

Young love birds, do not think about giving up on finding love at the first hurdle; it is a mere pit stop.



Photo: Relationship Quotes

One of the most common woes of modern day and of the days far gone – love. Be it unrequited or mutual; love is one of the few feelings – if not the feeling – which ends up hurting you in the end.

We have all seen it in movies and heard about it in songs; how love is that burning desire that rips out your heart, boils the blood, and just about takes to an abyss and the world comes crashing down around us.

Where everyone around us is a little too cheery, the songs make sense again, the world is bright and colorful; where your significant other just about can predict where you are or what you want, or can read your mind about what you want them to do.

In short, everything is picture perfect; and let’s not forget the before credits slogan, ‘and they all lived happily ever after.’

Reality is too different

The problem in today’s world is that our young love birds have taken the movies and fairy tales a bit too to heart, and they believe or are waiting for that earth-shattering feeling to come to the surface.

Modern love birds think that they can somehow get to the level of comfort or intimacy like they see the lead couples in the movies perform within a short amount of time.

What they do not realize is that the love stories in the movies are designed to stay within the time limit of the given estimated time, i.e. 2 or 2 and a half hours. Therefore, modern love birds are quick to act and simultaneously giving up on love, and they do the next on-trend thing, they post heartbreaking quotes on social media and try to move on.

So, at the essence of it all, what is true love? Is it all an illusion? Can we never feel or experience true love? Is it just for the movies? Or should we stand in the line of all giving up on love and do the same? Should we say adieu and follow the ones who are all about giving up on dating and relationships?

Understanding love in reality

One thing that is noticed and is pretty commonly portrayed is the wrong concept of love.

In the movies, when a couple falls in love, they get intimate, sing songs, go on dates, get married, have slim to none fights or arguments, and then the slogan of, ‘and they lived happily ever after’ hits our screens. However, as mentioned before, a real-life relationship is far from perfect.

It takes work, kindness, patience, sacrifice, compromise, and a whole lot of balance; giving up on love is definitely not the way to go. Sometimes you have to stand the storm and be the bad guy when you did nothing wrong because what is more important; being right or being with the one who holds your heart?

Being in love is all emotional, yes, but a whole lot of practicality is involved in it as well.

You know that you have to be responsible, loyal, a good listener, good at giving pep talks.There is a lot that is required of you when you feel like you want to go ahead in a relationship.

And the true test of a relationship or being in love comes when there is a disagreement. Fights can make or break a relationship.

Trust, love, and support are the three beams that become the foundation of your entire future.

So work on your relationship and try to be someone whom your partner needs, and do not waste time on posting sappy quotes about never giving up on love on social media or bible verses about not giving up on love.

It’s never easy

The work that a relationship requires does not mean that you are somehow not meant to be; it is hard or difficult, or all-consuming because it is worth it. The fights, arguments, disagreements, teach you what your partner is all about.

They teach you about their thoughts, and feelings, their desires, and heart. In short, each and every moment you spend with your significant other is teaching you something about them – they literally pour themselves out for you to see and pick up on, you should only know where to look.

A handful of tidbits that can help you to have a slightly better idea of what it is like to be in love in the real world, so you do not have to think about giving up on love a tad too soon:

  1. A successful career does not mean that you can take your significant other for granted.
  2. Whatever you do, do not assume. Life is, literally, too short for you to not take the lead and sit at home thinking what ifs.
  3. Stop doubting yourself, your significant other, and your love. You have made it this far; you will make it to the end so push all thoughts of giving up on love away.
  4. When one falls in love, they are at their most vulnerable stage. Help each other grow and understand each other’s presence and need instead of giving up on love instantly.

Don’t give up love

After all the trials and tribulations, one thing is for sure; there is no better feeling than being loved.

To be loved by someone is the most beautiful feeling in the world. You have your partner in crime, someone who will support you, look after you, be your shoulder to cry on, and whatever you need them to be. That kind of bond, though difficult to form, but is definitely worth the wait and work.

So, young love birds, do not think about giving up on finding love at the first hurdle; it is a mere pit stop.

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Intimacy & Sex

What Does Love Hate Relationships Mean?

Consider ways on how you can be better not just as a person but as a couple. It’s never too late to change for the better and to have a relationship centered on love and respect.



Photo: Relationship Quotes

Being in love is such a wonderful feeling, sometimes even indescribable as to how much you adore a person. It’s when you are with this person that you’d feel you’re complete and that you can take anything as long as you have them but what if sometimes you feel as though you want to just end the relationship and move forward with your life?

No, it’s not like your typical lover’s quarrel; it’s not even a sign that you’re bipolar. There’s a term for these mixed feelings of love and hate towards your partner and that’s called a love hate relationship.

What is a love hate relationship?

Is there such thing as loving and hating someone at the same time and maintaining a relationship with them in the process? It takes someone to feel such intense emotions to be in a love hate relationship as you can sway from one intense emotion to another.

love hate relationship can occur not just with a lover but also with a friend and even with your sibling but today, we’re focusing on romantic relationships.

It’s normal to have feelings of anger, resentment, and a little bit of hate when you and your partner argue but when it’s happening more often that it should and instead of breaking up for good, you feel that you’re getting stronger — you might be in a love hate relationship.

This relationship can surely be an emotional roller coaster with the intense emotions being felt by the couple. It’s both liberating yet draining, it’s exciting yet tiring, passionate yet aggressive and at some point you’ll have to ask yourself – is there really a future for this type of relationship?

Love hate relationship by definition

Let’s define love hate relationship – this type of relationship is characterized by extreme and sudden shift of conflicting emotions of love and hate.

It can be draining when you’re fighting and hating each other but all of these can change and you’re back to your loving relationship again.

At some point, some may say that the feeling of reconciling after a fight and how each one tries their best to make it up for the shortcomings can feel like an emotional addiction but overtime, this can cause abusive patterns that can lead to destructive actions.

Are you in a love hate relationship?

Just how do you differentiate love hate relationship with the usual lover’s quarrel? Here are the signs to watch for.

  1. While other couples have arguments, you and your partner take it to another level. Your usual fight goes to extremes and will mostly lead to breaking up and only getting back again after a few days. It’s a cycle of on and off relationship with extreme arguments.
  2. In all honesty, do you see yourself growing old with your partner with whom you share a love hate relationship? Sure it’s all tolerable now but if you can’t imagine yourself with this person and with the pattern of relationship that you have now then you might need to start fixing the relationship.
  3. Sure you can be both intimate, passionate, and feel that great sexual tension but how about that deep connection where you can talk about your life goals and your future?
  4. Do you feel that you have a baggage of unresolved issues that might be contributing to your love hate relationship? That these emotions and past issues only make things worse?
  5. You have so many things that you hate about each other but you don’t do anything to really address the issue and resolve it. You just pacify the anger and hate until it explodes back again.
  6. Do you talk behind your partner’s back to your friends? Is this a way to vent out your frustration and problems?
  7. Do you feel that the thrill of fighting and proving whose wrong then making out after the fight isn’t really giving you a real relationship but is instead just giving way to a temporary release of frustrations?

Psychology of relationships and love

The psychology of relationships and love can be very confusing and we have to understand that there will be different emotions that will affect how we handle our relationships. Love does come in many forms and romantic love is just one of them. When finding your suitable partner, both should work hard to be better and to fulfill a deeper meaning of life.

While arguments and disagreements are normal, it shouldn’t just cause mixed feelings of hate but also an opportunity to grow emotionally and change.

This way, both partners would want to work on their personal development together.

The deal with love hate relationship is that both parties dwell on extreme emotions and issues and instead of working on the issues, they would just resort to arguing and proving their point only to be pacified by their “love” and the cycle goes on.

The real deal with love hate relationship

Some may think that they love each other so much and that this love hate relationship is a product of their extreme love for each other but it’s not. In fact, it’s not a healthy way to have a relationship. A real relationship will work on the issue and will make sure that open communication is always there. The sad truth here is that with love hate relationship can just give you a false feeling of being wanted and being able to go against all odds for your love but the thing here is that over time this can even lead to abuse and nobody wants that.

True love is never selfish, you just don’t accept that love hate relationship is normal and will eventually be okay – because it won’t. This is a very unhealthy relationship and will not do you any good.

Consider ways on how you can be better not just as a person but as a couple. It’s never too late to change for the better and to have a relationship centered on love and respect.

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Single? Looking for Love? Never Do This

Realizing the characteristics of a lover that will never work for them



Photo: Relationship Quotes

Millions of men and women right now, are looking for love. Searching for love. And most of them will make the same mistake that they made in the past.

Even unaware that they’re making major errors in the world of dating.

For the last 29 years, number one best-selling author, counselor and life coach David Essel has been helping millions of people to get on the right track in order to find the deepest of love.

One key that will make or break your chances of finding love

Below, David discusses the one major key separating point that will determine, if you’re single right now if you’ll find that love you’re looking for, or not. “There is so much pressure in society to be in love.

Women, especially, are immersed on a daily basis with articles in magazines, the Internet, radio and television interviews stating that if you’re a mature female, without a partner, there must be something wrong with you.

Men, many times, can also feel the pressure from family members, and colleagues as they look around and see couples that seem to be happy, or maybe starting families, and we as men feel that we’re behind the eight ball.

The pressure to date, fall in love is huge

So the pressure to date, fall in love, and even possibly have a family is so huge, that most of us don’t even realize we make one major mistake that could easily block any chances of having a healthy and happy relationship in the future.

And what is that one major mistake, that if we don’t change right now, will pretty much guarantee a life filled with relationships that are less than what we had hoped?

Don’t date until you are extremely happy by yourselves

It’s this: we should never, ever, ever date until we are extremely happy by ourselves being single.

What do most individuals do at the end of a relationship? They look to jump right into another one.To avoid looking within.

To avoid looking at their repeated roles that sabotage love in their lives.

Realizing the characteristics of a lover that will never work for them

They jump so quickly into someone else’s bed, that they don’t realize the characteristics of a lover that will never work for them. And the odds are unless you’re slowing down and find a way to be introspective with your past mistakes, and at the same time finding a path to happiness alone, love will be futile.

In our newest mystical romance novel called “Angel on a surfboard: A mystical romance novel that explores the keys to deep love“,  we discuss the six major keys that we all need to understand in order to create a deep, loving relationship.

And one of those keys?

One of the keys is that we need to learn to be super happy single, before we go back into the world of dating.

In this exciting and roller coaster like novel, the lead character Sandy Tavish, a relationship expert who is also searching for the keys to deep love that he  may have missed as he writes his book in the Hawaiian islands, meets a retired female surfer who is absolutely beautiful, but extremely jaded when it comes to men and the world of dating.

Even with all of her beauty, she carries with her  a stigma from something that happened in the past, that keeps her in this constant state of frustration, and jadedness regarding men and relationships.

In their conversations on the beach, Sandy explained to her the key importance of taking downtime, and creating a happy life while we’re  single, in order to attract someone else who is also single and more importantly happy with themselves in the world of singlehood.

It takes quite a bit of prodding by Sandy to get this retired female surfer, Jenn, on board with his philosophy but  by the end of the book she sees the wisdom that Sandy is preaching.

Releasing resentments against former lovers

There are also five other incredibly important keys to deep love we examine throughout this exciting book, but for those who are single right now reading this article, there’s nothing more important than slowing down, working with a professional to release your resentments against former lovers, and then creating a dynamic happy life right now.

It is only when we are supremely happy with ourselves as a single person, that we can truly offer the next relationship everything we have regarding our gifts, talents, and love.

So right now, if you’re single, slow down and pay attention to this article.

For the past almost 30 years I’ve helped thousands of individuals to follow the program that we stated above, and to become incredibly happy without a partner, so they can finally find that fulfilling relationship that eludes most of us in life.

It’s worth the work. It’s worth being patient. And it’s worth being single a little longer until you find that path that combines  happiness and singlehood.

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Explore the 4 Types of Love in the Bible

If you love your own body, that means you would take care of it, cherish it, and do things for the good of it.



Photo: Relationship Quotes

At 1 John 4:8, the Bible says that “He that does not love has not come to know God, because God is love.”

This is a beautiful scripture that helps us understand our Holy Father better. And because we are made in his image, we also have the ability to show love to those around us. But, did you know that there are four types of love mentioned in the scriptures?

Many people say that the Bible is too old to have a modern-day application for today’s living, but this simply isn’t the case. Let God’s timeless word guide you in your journey through life and you will be truly blessed. Explore 4 types of love in the Bible and learn how you can apply this love in your life today.

1. Family love – Storge

Have you ever heard the word storge before? Pronounced STOR-jay, this Geek work describes the kind of love shared within the family unit.

Ask any parent and they will tell you that the loving bond between parent and child is like nothing they had ever felt before.

The Bible highlights the role that both parent and child are to play in the family unit. Family love is the type of love in the Bible that is of prime importance.

Deuteronomy 6:6 says “These words that I am commanding you today must be on your heart and you must inculcate them in your sons [and daughters] and speak of them when you sit in your house and when you walk on the road and when you lie down and when you get up.”

Studies show that children learn by observing those around them, and since you and your spouse are the first examples of love, marriage, and Christian faith that they will see in their lives, it’s important for couples to set a good example about living according to God’s law.

Not only by verbally teaching your children about God but by setting a fine example in your conduct.

Ephesians 6:4 continues by saying “Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” Therefore, it’s important to set boundaries and teach your children, but you must have balance.

Colossians 3:20 encourages children to be obedient to their parents, while Ephesians 6:2-3 says that they are to honor their father and mother. They can do this by showing respect for their parent’s rules and boundaries and by being kind and courteous.

Older children have responsibilities as well, specifically to care for their aging parents. 1 Timothy 5: 3-4 brings out how children are to care for the elderly. Verse 8 of the same book and chapter says “But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.”

Parents deserve all the love that you can give them, there is a great emphasis on this type of love in the Bible

2. Marital love – Eros

The second form of love we will consider if Eros (AIR-ohs). This Greek word refers to the romantic love that is often associated with new relationships. Butterflies in your stomach, intense physical attraction, and general excitement to see your partner. This may not seem like it, but it is a very important type of love in the Bible too.

While eros may mean temptation for unmarried ones, studies show that those who are united in marriage can keep eros from fading by practicing a weekly date night. Not only does this help keep passionate love burning, but a weekly date night has also been shown to boost communication and marital friendship.

Another way husbands and wives can strengthen their marriage is by heeding the beneficial advice for couples found in the book of Ephesians, chapter five. The chapter encourages women to have deep respect for their husbands, while Ephesians 5:28 says “in the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. A man who loves his wife loves himself” (NWT.)

If you love your own body, that means you would take care of it, cherish it, and do things for the good of it. This is the same way a husband is to treat his wife – with love and compassion.

3. Love by principle – Agape

The word love, as found in 1 Peter 4:8, is a reference to the Greek word agape, pronounced Uh-Gah-Pay.  This unselfish love is based on principles, not feelings. You can’t force yourself to love someone, but you can follow a principle of love, which is why Peter was able to command the people to “have an intense love for one another” in this instance.

In a study of agape love, Professor William Barclay says that this love has to do with the mind, not necessarily the heart. It is a principle that you live in. He goes on to say that agape “is, in fact, the power to love the unlovable, to love people whom we do not like.”

We have already learned how family, parents, marital spouses, and children can show love for one another. But what about those around us?

At Matthew 22:36-40, Jesus says that the second greatest commandment was “You shall love your neighbor as yourself” (NASB)

This type of love in the Bible has great significance in Christian belief.

Jesus set a fine example in showing love to neighbor when he gave his life on behalf of all mankind in order that they might be saved.

As God’s son, it would have been easy for Jesus to escape the persecution he was facing. But because his love for the human race was deep and based on principle, he gladly accepted his assignment as a ransom sacrifice.

4. Congregation and community – Phileo love

This is a unique and wonderful form of love found in the scriptures. Phileo, pronounced Fill-eh-oh, is not romantic or similar to that of family love but is a form of affection and warmth toward another person. Unlike agape love, which God commanded us to have for our enemies, phileo love is reserved for those close to us.

This type of love in the Bible refers to a brotherly love only.

In his letter to the Ephesians, Paul writes (NWT) “But become kind to one another, tenderly compassionate, freely forgiving one another just as God also by Christ freely forgave you.” Therefore, we can show phileo love toward those in our community or congregation by being kind and forgiving toward one another.

From respecting your marriage mate to dealing peaceably with those you don’t necessarily get along with, these types of love in the Bible has some great lessons about love. We hope you now have a better understanding of the four types of love listed in the Bible – storge, eros, agape, and phileo.

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