Relationships are always designed to make you feel fulfilled and satisfied. They are supposed to be able to add a lot of meaning, excitement, and value to your life. Whenever you get into a relationship with someone you deeply care about, then you would want to make yourself vulnerable towards that person. You would never want to keep them in the dark with regards to how you feel.
You always want to make sure that your partner knows just how much you love them and how committed you are to making things work in your relationship. You would never want your partner to feel insecure or unsafe in the love that you share. You would want to get rid of any doubts that might be clouding their minds.
If you are genuinely in love with someone, then you don’t want to take that person for granted in any capacity. You always want to make sure that they are going to feel happy, fulfilled, and loved. You always want to be treating each other with kindness and generosity. You want to practice empathy and sensitivity. You want to respect one another and you always want to show compassion for each other.
You would want to devote every single ounce of energy that you have to preserve your relationship. You would always want to do your best when it comes to keeping your significant other in your life. When you are truly in love with someone, you would always want to keep things open and honest with each other. You don’t play little childish games to mask your true feelings.
However, not a lot of people understand that these are necessities when it comes to true love. In fact, plenty of people think that they need to play these games if they want to “win” at dating. But that’s just the thing. Dating shouldn’t be a game because love isn’t a game. Love is never something that you would just want to be playing around with. Love isn’t something that you shouldn’t be approaching casually.
People play a lot of dumb relationship games all the time these days. You might think that you have to hide your truest intentions with the people you like because you assume that that would give you a sense of control over the situation. You say that you want to commit to someone, but you are afraid of completely making yourself vulnerable to someone. It’s just complete contradiction and it’s all wrong.
But let’s say that you’re not someone who plays these games and you’re just someone who is victimized by all of these players all the time. You should be aware of the moves that certain people are going to be putting on you so that you are keeping yourself guarded.
If you notice that the person you are dating is guilty of employing these kinds of moves, then they aren’t really serious about committing with you for real.
1. They keep your relationship a secret.
They really go out of their way to keep your relationship a secret. They don’t like taking you out to dinner because they don’t want other people to see that you’re together.
2. They fake their disinterest in you.
Even though they’re really interested in you, they act as if they’re not. They don’t want to be revealing how they truly feel about you because they don’t want to seem overeager.
3. They act hot and cold with you on commitment.
They don’t really show you any kind of consistency with the commitment that they give you in the relationship.
4. They pretend to like the same things that you do.
They act as if they’re interested in all of the same things that you’re interested in even when it clearly isn’t the case. They’re being fake and ingenuine to you.
5. They purposely try to make you feel jealous.
They really go out of their way to make you feel jealous because it makes them feel good whenever you do.
6. They make you wait for their text replies.
They make you really wait for their text replies. They don’t want you to feel like they are too overeager to reply to your messages.
7. They deliberately don’t text you first.
They always want you to take the initiative in the relationship and that’s wrong. Both participants should always be willing to take initiative for the relationship.
8. They still keep dating apps on their phones.
Consider it to be a real red flag when the person you’re dating still has some dating apps on their phones. It shows that they’re still trying to play the field.
9. They refuse to define the relationship.
They don’t really have that discussion with you about where you both stand in your relationship. They don’t really talk to you about the nature of the relationship that you have.
Mom-to-be Pens Heartbreaking Note to Husband After his Sudden Death
A newlywed woman wrote a tearful letter to her dead husband in her sleep.
Shannen, her Lissel, who married her beloved in September 2022, is currently mourning the death of her beloved husband.
The couple have been together for five years. They got engaged in May 2021.
In December 2022, Shannen and Connor discovered that her girlfriend Lissel was pregnant. They all celebrated the good news with excitement.
But unfortunately Connor couldn’t even care for his pregnant wife for more than a few weeks and she passed away yesterday.
“It is with a heavy heart that I write these words. Her husband Connor died suddenly in her sleep yesterday morning,” Shannen wrote on Friday.
“Connor was the love of my life. He’s been the best husband, the best friend, the best family, the best fur baby daddy. It was planned to be.
She added that her late husband was an adrenaline junkie and he loved adventure. He had many hobbies and loved to be outdoors doing adventures on beaches and mountains.
“He loved surfing, he loved being in the water at the beach, he loved a coffee and a choccie, he was so much fun to travel with, to have a laugh with friends and family, he was always trying to live an exciting life that he was proud of, trying new things like fly fishing,” she wrote alongside a beautiful picture of herself and Connor on Facebook.
“He worked hard, he loved being creative with his art and music and he gave his whole heart to those he loved and had such a huge heart, empathy, and care for people he met.”
She added that Connor, who was supposed to turn 30 this year, was the `most rare` person she had ever met.
“I am so proud that I got to become his wife and spend 5 years, and 4 months with him. The memories that we have I will cherish forever and I will live the rest of my days reflecting on ways I can be more like him.”
She continued, “And when I welcome our baby into the world, he or she will be surrounded by everyone that loved him, to share memories about how beautiful of a person he was, and his memories will live on.”
Reading this, many people commented on Shannen`s post and offered their condolences. “My condolences to my beloved Shannen. Sending lots of love and strength,” she wrote.
“Shannen, I’m so sorry for your loss. He was such an amazing person and he loved you so much and was sending you all his love,” said another.
“I’m so sorry for the loss of your baby,” one-third commented.
“I’m so sorry that this happened to you too. It’s really heartbreaking to hear this news. Life can be so unfair,’ she chimed in.
“You are not alone. There is endless support around you to help you get through this.”
A GoFundMe was set up in Shannen’s name to cover the costs of Connor’s memorial service and to help Shannen during this difficult time.
To date, GoFundMe has raised him $26,065.
Share your thoughts:
During this difficult time, our hearts go out to Shannen his Lissel. You can help her out by donating to her GoFundMe. Let us know your thoughts in the comments.
8 Keys for Breaking Bad Habits!
Bad habits are behaviors that are detrimental to our physical, mental, or emotional well-being. They can range from minor actions like biting your nails or procrastinating, to more serious issues like smoking or overeating. Some common bad habits include:
- Overeating or undereating
- Smoking or other substance abuse
- Lack of exercise or physical activity
- Excessive alcohol consumption
- Negative self-talk or thinking
- Gossiping or speaking negatively about others
- Spending too much time on screens
- Spending or wasting money
- Interrupting or talking over others
Breaking bad habits can be difficult, but it is possible with the right mindset and strategies. Identifying the triggers and creating a plan to replace the bad habit with a positive behavior can be helpful in overcoming the habit. Additionally, getting accountability and support from friends and loved ones, rewarding yourself for progress, and being patient and persistent can also aid in breaking bad habits.
8 Keys for Breaking Bad Habits!
- Identify the habit: Be clear about the habit you want to change.
- Understand the triggers: Identify the situations or emotions that trigger the habit.
- Find a replacement behavior: Find a positive behavior that can replace the bad habit.
- Make a plan: Create a plan to implement the replacement behavior.
- Get accountability: Find someone to hold you accountable for making the change.
- Reward yourself: Reward yourself for making progress towards breaking the bad habit.
- Be patient: Change takes time, so be patient with yourself.
- Stay persistent: Keep working on breaking the bad habit, even if you slip up.
True Motives for “Sorry, I Didn’t Mean It!”
When you are with a child or an adult, at some point you may be told, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to” or “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to.” to hurt you.” And the child or person continues happily as if nothing had happened.
But if we didn’t mean it, why would we? Why would we dismiss our actions so easily with a casual comment? The underlying meaning of communication is its truth
When we hurt someone, why do we ease their pain by telling ourselves it wasn’t what we meant? It’s like the “I don’t know” response from a teenager, a cryptic comment meant to discourage further discovery. However, “I didn’t mean to do that” became so obvious that it was accepted as the truth.
Let’s look a little deeper.
Every action speaks louder and truer than our words. When our words don’t match our actions, it’s our actions that show our true motives. Famous words of the late Austrian psychiatrist Dr. Alfred Adler:
“Trust only movement. Life happens on the level of events, not words.”
The biggest causes of toxic behavior are unprocessed emotions, unconscious pain, and unmet needs. Perhaps “unintentionally” means that it was not caused by any conscious thought or motive. But when you look deeper, you often find hidden feelings and unmet needs that you haven’t yet recognized.
When we hurt others, we hurt ourselves. Unkind acts towards others can be an unconscious way of communicating our pain and sending out an SOS that we are hurt. It may have been a specific person.
Of course, hurtful words can inadvertently come to the side if you drink too much or if your self-control is wavering because you’ve lost your ability to control yourself cognitively due to your addiction.
But even in these situations, there are words that derive from the unresolved emotions and pain that emerge when impulse control is compromised.
In children, their ability to control themselves is affected by developmental immaturity and brain development. As such, it is the responsibility of adults to control their emotions and teach them how to express them in a healthy way.
My point here is to be more aware of your feelings and pay attention to your words, which can help you hurt or build healthy relationships.
Motivation for driving behavior
How many times has your spouse come home and yell at your children? Did they do it because they were mad at their children? Not normal. A difficult day at work or the emergence of unmet needs is far more likely to be the cause.
A child may come to school and push other children or teenagers around to bully them. Another student may be emotionally humiliated not because the person did something to them, but because of feelings of helplessness, misunderstood inner conflict, or unacknowledged hurt feelings. Unloving behavior does not make a person bad. It makes you human. Also, unkind behavior usually indicates a need for self-care and self-compassion.
In all personal growth and in all relationships, the key to loving ourselves and each other is recognizing the roots of our actions.
We continue to lash out, react emotionally, and inadvertently lash out at others until we realize the causes of our actions and their beliefs. To improve communication, we need emotional intelligence and self-awareness.
Sometimes we have bad days and need someone to understand us, even if we are misbehaving. It’s also important to be honest. It doesn’t matter what your feelings are. Taking our whims out on others is undesirable in any relationship. Increased confidence: mean what you say, say what you want to say
You may have heard this proverb. Great advice. Search your heart every time you hear yourself say, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to.”
Is there any reason you could have intended it that way?
Have you experienced unintentionally repressed resentment because you were unable to express your feelings directly? Has this person recently ignored you or said something hurtful to you?
Or maybe it’s as simple as canceling a dinner date, even if there’s a good reason for it…how to recognize our inner motives and find what we need
A fundamental stepping stone to consciously loving and empathizing with others is identifying when you are unloved. If you do or say something unkind, ask yourself later. Be more honest with yourself. )
Next, find out what you need to do to restore your peaceful self-esteem. You may want to apologize, put on makeup, or talk to the person about what’s bothering you. Or maybe you just need to be more in touch with your emotions and empathize with yourself. Either way, act as soon as you feel what’s right.
Every time I go through this process, I feel inner peace and less and less anger towards others. Self-esteem grows every time you make a conscious effort to understand your true motives, rather than immediately dismissing your actions. And each time we take action to fix what is holding back intimacy in a relationship, more respect, intimacy and understanding are built.
The next time you hear yourself say, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to!” Dig a little deeper and find out if that’s true.