1,500 give all the relationship advice you’ll ever need
The relationship quotes given by 1500 men to educate all other men about successful relationships.
Hey, guess what? I got married two weeks ago. And like most people, I asked some of the older and wiser folks around me for a couple quick words of relationship advice from their own marriages to make sure my wife and I didn’t shit the (same) bed. I think most newlyweds do this — ask for relationship advice, I mean, not shit the same bed part — especially after a few cocktails from the open bar they just paid way too much money for.
But, of course, not being satisfied with just a few wise words, I had to take it a step further.
See, I have access to hundreds of thousands of smart, amazing people through my site. So why not consult them? Why not ask them for their best relationship/marriage advice? Why not synthesize all of their wisdom and experience into something straightforward and immediately applicable to any relationship, no matter who you are or how sick of his/her shit you are?
Why not crowdsource THE ULTIMATE RELATIONSHIP GUIDE TO END ALL RELATIONSHIP GUIDES™ from the sea of smart and savvy partners and lovers here?
So, that’s what I did. I sent out the call the week before my wedding: anyone who has been married for 10+ years and is still happy in their relationship, what lessons would you pass down to others if you could? What is working for you and your partner? And if you are divorced, what didn’t work previously?
The response was overwhelming. Almost 1,500 people replied, many of whom sent in responses measured in pages, not paragraphs. It took almost two weeks to comb through them all, but I did. And what I found stunned me…
They were incredibly repetitive.
That’s not an insult or anything. Actually, it’s kind of the opposite. Not to mention, a relief. These were all smart and well-spoken people from all walks of life, from all around the world, all with their own histories, tragedies, mistakes and triumphs…
And yet they were all saying pretty much the same dozen things.
Which means that those dozen or so things must be pretty damn important… and more importantly, they work.
Here’s what they are.
1. BE TOGETHER FOR THE RIGHT REASONS
“Don’t ever be with someone because someone else pressured you to. I got married the first time because I was raised Catholic and that’s what you were supposed to do. Wrong. I got married the second time because I was miserable and lonely and thought having a loving wife would fix everything for me. Also wrong. Took me three tries to figure out what should have been obvious from the beginning, the only reason you should ever be with the person you’re with is because you simply love being around them. It really is that simple.”
Before we even get into what you should do in your relationship, let’s start with what not to do.
When I sent out my request to readers for advice, I added a caveat that turned out to be illuminating. I asked people who were on their second or third (or fourth) marriages what they did wrong. Where did they mess up?
By far, the most common answer was “being with the person for the wrong reasons.”
Some of these wrong reasons included:
- Pressure from friends and family.
- Feeling like a “loser” because they were single and settling for the first person that came along
- Being together for image — because the relationship looked good on paper (or in photos), not because the two people actually admired each other.
- Being young and naive and hopelessly in love and thinking that love would solve everything.
As we’ll see throughout the rest of this article, everything that makes a relationship “work” (and by work, I mean that it is happy and sustainable for both people involved) requires a genuine, deep-level admiration for each other. Without that mutual admiration, everything else will unravel.
The other “wrong” reason to enter into a relationship is, like Greg said, to “fix” yourself. This desire to use the love of someone else to soothe your own emotional problems inevitably leads to co-dependence, an unhealthy and damaging dynamic between two people where they tacitly agree to use each other’s love as a distraction from their own self-loathing. We’ll get more into co-dependence later in this article, but for now, it’s useful to point out that love, itself, is neutral. It is something that can be both healthy or unhealthy, helpful or harmful, depending on why and how you love someone else and are loved by someone else. By itself, love is never enough to sustain a relationship.
8 Reasons Why Strong Women Have Difficulty In Dating
There are many strong, independent people in the world who find it really hard to succeed in dating and relationships. You are incredibly smart, beautiful, talented, and ambitious. Yet they still struggle to find a good man to be with. They are the kind of women who can get the man they want. Is not. But why?
Well, you might think I’m just bragging and self-centered. You might think these strong women think too much of themselves. You may think that you don’t have time.
But oddly enough, it has very little to do with these things. And these strong women certainly aren’t afraid to get their hearts broken by terrible men in toxic relationships. They hate being hurt by someone they fall in love with. But they were never afraid to show up in the dating world. So what’s stopping you from finding the right person to be with? Well, it’s a lot more complicated than you think. There are many reasons why strong women struggle to date, and here are just a few of them.
- They have high standards: Strong women know what they want in a partner and are not willing to settle for less. This can make it difficult to find someone who meets their expectations.
- They are independent: Strong women are used to taking care of themselves and may have a hard time letting someone else take the lead in a relationship.
- They are not afraid to speak their minds: Strong women are not afraid to speak their minds and may come across as intimidating or difficult to those who are not used to assertive behavior.
- They are used to being in control: Strong women are used to being in control and may have a hard time relinquishing control in a relationship.
- They are self-sufficient: Strong women are self-sufficient and may not need someone else to take care of them, which can be a turn off for some men.
- They have a busy lifestyle: Strong women often have demanding careers or other commitments that can make it difficult to find time for dating.
- They have been hurt in the past: Strong women may have been hurt in the past and may have a hard time trusting someone new.
- They are not afraid to be alone: Strong women are not afraid to be alone and may not feel the need to be in a relationship, which can make it difficult for someone to get close to them.
It’s important to remember that everyone is different and these reasons may not apply to every strong woman out there. Strong women should be appreciated and respected for who they are and not discouraged because of their independence, strength, and confidence.
The Loss Of A Pet Is More Painful Than Most People Would Believe
If you happen to have a pet of your own, you already know the kind of love and joy that comes with having a furry pet in your home. You are usually speechless when describing how big a pet can affect your life.
Pets are really great companions. They are very loyal and cheerful companions who will never stop loving you. When you come home after a long day at work, they are always waiting for you to pet them. They are there to make you laugh even when you don’t want to smile.
Be friends with anyone in your family, young or old, always ready to offer you unconditional love and not ask for anything in return. We are not pet friendly. But they are still there for us. Pets are always there to comfort you whenever you are feeling depressed and lonely. They sense when you’re feeling down and try to lift you up with positive energy and optimism. Pets are a constant reminder to be happy in life, even in the face of constant adversity and challenges. Pets teach us to always look for things to be grateful for, even when it feels like the whole world is weighing on our shoulders. Pets always teach you to look at life and see all the beauty it has to offer.
As a result, many people find it very difficult to say goodbye to their beloved pets. Losing a pet is always a very painful experience. Sometimes it even creates a degree of emotional trauma in a person to the point of never wanting to have a pet again. It’s like saying goodbye to a best friend forever. You never feel like you had enough time together. You will always want them to be with you forever.
Many people underestimate how painful it can be to lose a dog, cat, turtle, hamster, fish or any pet you can think of. Science confirms that the grief and devastation you feel when you lose a pet is justified. We conducted a determined study, which found that all owners agreed on how intensely and deeply they felt the pain they felt as a result of the loss. A team of researchers from Hawaii also conducted a study and found that the pain felt after losing a caress can last as long as the pain felt after losing a loved one.
Many people agree that you can’t really compare what it feels like to lose a pet to how it feels to lose someone you love. However, research shows that the level of devastation and suffering between the two experiences can be very similar in degree and magnitude.
Do We Need to Experience Love to Be Loving?
It is not necessary to have experienced love in a romantic sense to be able to express love and kindness towards others. Love can take many forms and can be directed towards oneself, friends, family, and even strangers. A person can also show love through acts of kindness, generosity, and empathy without necessarily having experienced romantic love. Additionally, one can also learn and practice empathy, kindness, and other aspects of love through other means.
Love is a fundamental human need. It can take many forms, such as the love between romantic partners, the love between family members, and the love of oneself. Love can provide a sense of security, belonging, and self-worth. It can also play a crucial role in mental and physical well-being. Research has shown that people who have strong, positive relationships with others tend to be happier, healthier, and live longer. Lack of love and connection can lead to feelings of isolation and loneliness, which can have negative effects on mental and physical health.
Love is often thought of as a reciprocal feeling, meaning that it is often given and received. It is often said that love begets love, meaning that when we give love, we often receive it in return. The more love we give, the more love we tend to have in our lives. This can be seen in relationships where the more effort and care one partner puts in, the more the other partner tends to respond in kind. Additionally, showing love and kindness to others can often lead to an increase in self-love and self-esteem.
There are many ways to cultivate love in our lives, both for ourselves and for others. Here are a few ways to get love and be loved:
- Show love and kindness to others: One of the best ways to receive love is to give it. By showing love and kindness to others, we create positive relationships and a sense of connection.
- Practice self-love: Loving yourself is the first step to being loved by others. Take time to care for yourself, set boundaries, and treat yourself with kindness and respect.
- Communicate effectively: Clear and open communication is key to any healthy relationship. Express your needs and feelings, and make sure to listen actively to others.
- Be open to love: Sometimes we can block ourselves from receiving love by having preconceived notions about what love should look like. Be open to different forms of love and the ways it can come into your life.
- Volunteer and give back to the community: Helping others and giving back to the community can help boost self-esteem, and also put you in touch with people who may become your close friends or romantic partners.
Ultimately, it’s important to remember that love is not something that can be forced or controlled. It takes time and effort to build strong, healthy relationships, and it’s normal to experience ups and downs in any relationship.