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Love & Marriage

Love vs in Love – What Is the Difference

However, when in love with them, you would want them to be happy, even if it’s without you. For you, their happiness matters the most. You would set them free and won’t stay with them unless being asked to.

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We often carelessly interchange ‘I love you’ and ‘I am in love with you’. It happens so as we believe that these two sentences have the same meaning. Actually, they’re not. Love vs in love are two different things. It’s similar to loving someone vs being in love with someone.

Being in love comes when you’re attracted or have an obsession towards someone. You express it by holding hands and feeling lonely when your loved one is not around you. You suddenly crave for them when they’re not around and wish to spend most of your time with them.

However, loving someone is different. It’s about accepting someone the way they are. You accept them wholly without changing anything about them. You want to support them, encourage them, and want to bring the best out of them. This feeling needs 100% dedication and commitment.

Let’s understand the difference between the terms love vs in love properly.

1. Choice

Love is not always a choice. When you meet someone and find their qualities interesting, you start loving them. This happens once you’ve evaluated their best qualities and appreciate them for who they’re. This defines the feeling when you love someone.

However, if you’re in love then you have no choice but to love the person. It’s something that happens without your consent. Furthermore, you simply can’t walk away from this.

2. Well being

This is an important difference between the terms love vs in love. Love gives us the courage to do things that we thought were impossible or difficult. It gives us the power to do better for ourselves. However, when you love someone, you would want them to be the best. You want them to succeed.

In the other case, when you’re in love, you would not only want them to succeed, you would do things out of your way to make sure they achieve it. You would want to stand next to them and support them in their dream.

3. Shelf life of love

This again differentiates ‘I Love You vs I am in love with you’. As discussed above, when you love someone, you have a choice to be in love with someone. You make a decision and then start loving. This love has a shelf life. When the feeling dies up or things change, the love will vanish.

However, when you’re in love with someone, there is no shelf life. You can’t just stop loving someone you’re in love with. You didn’t decide to love that person in the first place. It happened automatically. So, the feeling stays forever.

4. Changing your partner

It’s a universal truth that no person is perfect. Everyone has their own flaws, but what they need is someone who can accept them for the way they are. Accepting a partner without changing them is the toughest job. When you love someone, you live in a fantasy world where you wish your partner to have a certain set of qualities. You may want to to change your partner to meet your expectations.

When you’re in love with someone you accept the reality. You don’t want to change your partner a bit and accept them the way they are, with their good and their bad. This is the most significant difference between the terms love vs in love.

5. Feeling

Often you would hear people say that when they’re in love how their partner make them feel. Well, the feeling is another aspect to differentiate love vs in love. When you love someone, you would expect them to make you feel special and great. Here, your feelings will play a major role.

But the situation is totally opposite when you’re in love with someone. When in love, you would want to make your partner feel special. This might sound right from a movie, but this is what happens. So, to determine the feeling, see whether you’re putting your feeling forward or your partner’s.

6. Need and want

Just like feeling, the desire to be with them or not can help you determine the difference between feelings of love vs in love. They say, ‘if your love is true, set them free.’ This fits well here. When you love someone, you would need them to be around you. The desire to be with them would be so strong at times that you would want to be with them no matter what.

However, when in love with them, you would want them to be happy, even if it’s without you. For you, their happiness matters the most. You would set them free and won’t stay with them unless being asked to.

7. Ownership and partnership

It is important to understand the difference between love vs in love. When you love someone, you have a sense of obsession. You would want them to be yours only. This explains the ownership of yours over your partner.

When you’re in love with someone, you seek partnership. You both decide to be each other and would look at your relationship as a concealed partnership.

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Love & Marriage

6 Great Love Tips to Make Your Relationship Healthy and Strong

Who doesn’t want to learn a few great love tips? You know, advice on how to find great love or hang on to the love you’ve got.

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Who doesn’t want to learn a few great love tips? You know, advice on how to find great love or hang on to the love you’ve got. Whether you are new to the dating scene or long-married, it can be helpful to read some love tips from those who are in successful loving relationships. We brought together a group of these happy couples (and one single guy!) and asked them to share with us some of their tried and true love tips so that we, too, can be part of that select group of joyful people.

1. Never take your partner for granted

Jesse and Kaitlin have been living together for four years. “Love tips? I’d say that our biggest one would be to never take your partner for granted,” says Kaitlin. Jesse agrees. “Everyday I tell Kaitlin that I love her and appreciate her presence in my life. I never let her head hit the pillow at night without telling her how special she is to me.

I was married before and I think part of the reason our marriage failed is that I took my wife for granted. I don’t want that to happen again so I’m quite mindful of reminding Kaitlin how grateful I am that we are together.”

2. Marry someone you not only love but truly like

Shirley and Robert are celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary this year. Shirley shares her love tips: “I married my best friend. I’m not kidding. Robert and I have been friends since elementary school. We started dating in high school and we got married after he graduated from the military academy.

Our marriage has seen a lot of changes; being in the Air Force meant we moved every couple of years. But since our love is anchored in a true friendship, we were able to navigate all these transfers. I know Robert has my back and I have his. There’s an unbreakable trust in our marriage that sees us through the challenging times. So my love tip is this: marry someone you not only love but truly like.

3. Sharing the same expectations from the relationship

Philip and Carolyn are have been dating for one year. Philip tells us his love tip: “I think for a relationship to work, both people have to have the same expectations of what they want out of the relationship. This may sound odd to some people, but Carolyn and I wanted to have an ‘open’ relationship, what they call polyamory these days.

My last relationship didn’t work out because my girlfriend wasn’t on the same page as me, she expected complete faithfulness and monogamy. I didn’t want that, so I broke up with her. Then I met Carolyn who is like me, wanting to have multiple experiences but also wanting one primary partner. My love tip is this: make sure your love partner has the same values and expectations regarding what you want out of the relationship as you, or you are setting yourselves up for conflict and disappointment.”

4. Sharing the same values and aspirations in life

Leah and Samuel are recent newlyweds, after having dated for two years. Leah tells us her love tip: “I’d date a lot before I met Samuel. We were set up by friends from our synagogue. I had noticed Samuel before; he’s tall and cute and fairly active in the temple.

But it wasn’t until we were set up that I had a chance to talk one on one with him. Right away I knew there was something there. We clearly had the same values and came from an identical background. So all the stress that can happen when you are your partner come from different socio-economic classes just wasn’t there. We had both graduated from the Ivy League and we both were working for well-known financial institutions. All of these things that we had in common made getting together smooth and easy. It’s like we speak the same language.

Listen: when I was younger I was all about dating ‘bad guys’, you know, guys who were from the wrong side of the tracks. I thought that was sexy and made me look daring. My love tip is this: for a relationship to work well with as little conflict as possible, marry someone who is like you in terms of upbringing and aspirations. It will make things much easier.”

5. Find someone who is different from you

Alisha and Randall tell a very different story. “I love that Randall was totally different from me. I don’t want a partner who is a carbon copy of my life. That’s just boring. I want someone whose narrative teaches me something, and Randall is like from another world.

He immigrated from Haiti when he was a teenager. His family was poor and uneducated but knew they could have a better life here in America.

Me?

Born and bred right here in New Jersey. No one could be more ‘typically American’ than me. I think great relationships are made when the two partners can teach each other something, so diversity within the couple is a good thing. My love tip? Look for that person that will open your world to something you didn’t even know you were missing.”

6. Define what you don’t want in a partner

Lastly, there’s Mark. Mark is not yet in a relationship, but active on several dating platforms. “Something I’ve discovered about finding love through dating websites is this: you can’t have a hard list of what you are looking for in a partner. But it is helpful to have a list of what you aren’t looking for.

I’m very open to being flexible about what I’m seeking, but there are a few non-negotiable things that say “no deal” to me as I look through the women’s profiles. And you have to stick to these non-negotiables, no matter how much you want to be in a relationship. My love tip is this: rather than knowing what you want, you’d do better with defining what you don’t want.”

These handy tips will definitely help you with your love life. While there is no specific recipe to a successful relationship, some simple advice can guide you get through it better.

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Love & Marriage

How to Identify Your Soulmate

Sometimes people try to rob us of our emotional experience and argue why you should or shouldn’t feel a certain way. Your experience is yours and no one should take that away from you!

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I have worked with many couples and individuals who struggle to understand their needs and wants. Discovering these needs and wants and if they are being satisfied are usually the clues that show us whether someone is right for us. There are a few general signs that indicate when you are really in love, here are a few of them.

How to know if it’s true love

You feel that you can talk to this person about anything, without judgment. Good communication is one of the most important factors to any healthy relationship so being able to talk to someone without feeling anxious or judged is one key sign you have found the right partner.

Because communication is so important, it’s vital that your partner is willing to communicate in healthy ways, or at least be open to learning. This is how most couples I’ve worked with have resolved issues and grown exponentially.

One of the signs you’ve found your life partner is that you really feel understood and validated. This sign is one that shows a cornerstone of successful relationships, empathy. If the person you are dating listens to you to understand rather than to “fix” or give you advice, it is clear they are empathizing with your emotional experience.

Sometimes people try to rob us of our emotional experience and argue why you should or shouldn’t feel a certain way. Your experience is yours and no one should take that away from you!

Soulmate signs you’ve found your ideal partner

One of the signs you’ve found your life partner is you feel comfortable letting your guard down. Possibly one of the most challenging steps we face in a relationship is letting our guard down.

If you notice that the person you are dating makes you feel comfortable enough to be vulnerable, love may be in the air. The vulnerability can be tricky to navigate, so this is where communication comes in handy again. If you have difficulty with vulnerability in general, talk to your partner about it. That openness may be a game changer for the relationship.

Signs you’ve found your soulmate

One of the crucial signs you’ve found your life partner is your wants and needs are being expressed and met. Possibly one of the first signs that show you’re in a loving relationship is that your partner is tending to your wants and needs. We are often so focused on taking care of others, we forget about ourselves or there is an imbalance.

As I often tell couples, if you can truly understand each other’s wants and needs and are working toward meeting them, you are one step closer to a loving relationship.

Pay heed to signs that indicate you’ve found your ideal partner. We each have unique wants and needs, so it’s important to understand that your partner cannot read your mind. Reflect on your personal needs and wants and communicate them!

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Love & Marriage

Top 10 Signs of True Love in a Relationship

The following are some obvious signs of true love in a relationship. If you spot any of the following ten signs of true love, you can feel good, knowing that, you finally found the one!

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Love is undoubtedly a pleasing emotion in all forms. It brings an aura of beauty around women and at the same time, a sense of courage and confidence in men. True love is not only about how your body feels or how you view someone in a relationship. In fact, true love in its real sense involves how you act in a relationship with someone.

The signs of true love between a man and a woman are about meeting each other’s expectation, respect, and care. Additionally, it involves the expression of appreciation instead of taking them for granted.

The following are some obvious signs of true love in a relationship. If you spot any of the following ten signs of true love, you can feel good, knowing that, you finally found the one!

1. You are confident in your relationship

One of the first signs of true love is having confidence in your relationship. Many assume they are in love whereas it may only be an infatuation or just close friendship. It can make you nervous and insecure about your relationship.

Contrary to that, with a sense of confidence, you know that your relationship is strong enough to weather a few bumps.

2. You see each other in the future

Another sign included in the signs of true love is simply seeing a future together and talking about it. You can picture small stuff in addition to just fantasizing about walking down the aisle to tie the knot.

3. It’s not ‘me,’ it’s ‘us’

Women find it harder to trust men these days. Well, there are still a lot of men out there who can be trusted. You just need to be careful while choosing the right one. When a man is in love, he will view you as inseparable.

Some other signs of true love from a man include:

  1. He tries to give you more than he takes.
  2. Your happiness is the reason for his smile.
  3. He is there for you on rainy days.

4. A deep sense of sharing

Your happiness seems incomplete until you have shared it with your loved one. You are willing to compromise on your needs for the sake of your partner’s needs.

5. Nothing is hidden

Couples who are experiencing true love do not hide any stuff from each other. One of the signs of true love in a relationship is acquiring a sense of emotional intimacy. You don’t wish to hide anything from them because you want to them to share your life experiences-the good and the bad.

6. You are willing to sacrifice for them

There is no true love without sacrifice. It is the demand of true that you put the other person before yourself. A major sign in the signs of true love from a woman is that she is always ready to sacrifice her own needs to help you. She is in love with you if she sacrifices selflessly.

Other signs of true love from a woman may include:

  1. She is willing to forgive you many times.
  2. She pushes and encourages you to become a better person.
  3. She is there to support you in achieving your dreams.
  4. She stays with you in darkest times.

7. It feels natural

Love should never be forced. You can surely feel the sincerity of your loved one in everything if its true love. There is nothing to worry about the what-ifs and should because you know they’ll magically work out. If it’s true love, it just feels right.

8. You keep your promises

A promise to your loved one has a lot of weight and is an extension of trust. When you promise to someone you truly love and break it, you are breaking their trust.

Therefore, signs of true love also include that you do not play games anymore and are able to keep your promises for the sake of your relationship.

9. Acceptance of disappointment and hurt

Let’s face it; life isn’t always sunshine and rainbows. It can be difficult. Same goes for a relationship, as the true test of love will be during rainy days. You may feel disappointed at times when things get rough. If its true love, you will be able to face challenges, losses, and failures as a team.

10. Complete respect

When you are in true love, then you will give and receive respect. You are comfortable with who they are and what they do. You view your loved one as equal, and in return, they treat you with the same level of respect.

With a loved one by your side, the world seems to be a better place. It’s not like the problems disappear. However, the self-confidence and courage that comes with love allow you to face the world with increased vigor.

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