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Love & Marriage

Love vs in Love – What Is the Difference

However, when in love with them, you would want them to be happy, even if it’s without you. For you, their happiness matters the most. You would set them free and won’t stay with them unless being asked to.

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We often carelessly interchange ‘I love you’ and ‘I am in love with you’. It happens so as we believe that these two sentences have the same meaning. Actually, they’re not. Love vs in love are two different things. It’s similar to loving someone vs being in love with someone.

Being in love comes when you’re attracted or have an obsession towards someone. You express it by holding hands and feeling lonely when your loved one is not around you. You suddenly crave for them when they’re not around and wish to spend most of your time with them.

However, loving someone is different. It’s about accepting someone the way they are. You accept them wholly without changing anything about them. You want to support them, encourage them, and want to bring the best out of them. This feeling needs 100% dedication and commitment.

Let’s understand the difference between the terms love vs in love properly.

1. Choice

Love is not always a choice. When you meet someone and find their qualities interesting, you start loving them. This happens once you’ve evaluated their best qualities and appreciate them for who they’re. This defines the feeling when you love someone.

However, if you’re in love then you have no choice but to love the person. It’s something that happens without your consent. Furthermore, you simply can’t walk away from this.

2. Well being

This is an important difference between the terms love vs in love. Love gives us the courage to do things that we thought were impossible or difficult. It gives us the power to do better for ourselves. However, when you love someone, you would want them to be the best. You want them to succeed.

In the other case, when you’re in love, you would not only want them to succeed, you would do things out of your way to make sure they achieve it. You would want to stand next to them and support them in their dream.

3. Shelf life of love

This again differentiates ‘I Love You vs I am in love with you’. As discussed above, when you love someone, you have a choice to be in love with someone. You make a decision and then start loving. This love has a shelf life. When the feeling dies up or things change, the love will vanish.

However, when you’re in love with someone, there is no shelf life. You can’t just stop loving someone you’re in love with. You didn’t decide to love that person in the first place. It happened automatically. So, the feeling stays forever.

4. Changing your partner

It’s a universal truth that no person is perfect. Everyone has their own flaws, but what they need is someone who can accept them for the way they are. Accepting a partner without changing them is the toughest job. When you love someone, you live in a fantasy world where you wish your partner to have a certain set of qualities. You may want to to change your partner to meet your expectations.

When you’re in love with someone you accept the reality. You don’t want to change your partner a bit and accept them the way they are, with their good and their bad. This is the most significant difference between the terms love vs in love.

5. Feeling

Often you would hear people say that when they’re in love how their partner make them feel. Well, the feeling is another aspect to differentiate love vs in love. When you love someone, you would expect them to make you feel special and great. Here, your feelings will play a major role.

But the situation is totally opposite when you’re in love with someone. When in love, you would want to make your partner feel special. This might sound right from a movie, but this is what happens. So, to determine the feeling, see whether you’re putting your feeling forward or your partner’s.

6. Need and want

Just like feeling, the desire to be with them or not can help you determine the difference between feelings of love vs in love. They say, ‘if your love is true, set them free.’ This fits well here. When you love someone, you would need them to be around you. The desire to be with them would be so strong at times that you would want to be with them no matter what.

However, when in love with them, you would want them to be happy, even if it’s without you. For you, their happiness matters the most. You would set them free and won’t stay with them unless being asked to.

7. Ownership and partnership

It is important to understand the difference between love vs in love. When you love someone, you have a sense of obsession. You would want them to be yours only. This explains the ownership of yours over your partner.

When you’re in love with someone, you seek partnership. You both decide to be each other and would look at your relationship as a concealed partnership.

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Love & Marriage

Stop Waiting For Love To Find You – Go Out And Find It For Yourself

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You shouldn’t be listening to those people who keep on telling you to “stay single until you meet a guy who is like this” or “never settle for a partner who can’t love you in this manner.”

That’s terrible advice and you should never follow it.

The thing about dating in this modern age is that you’re always taught to have a lot of boundaries. You are always encouraged to follow a very specific set of rules. You are told to stop going out and dating people because you shouldn’t be settling for the wrong people anyway. You’re told that you should just give up on the people who you feel like you’re only settling for.

And yes, it’s true when they say that you should never really settle for someone you’re truly not meant to be with. However, you shouldn’t be so deluded to think that “the one” is out there and is just going to fall into your lap someday. That’s definitely not how love works. And that’s definitely how you’re going to find happiness in love with a person.

Admittedly, there is some beauty behind the concept of saving yourself for the one person who you know you’re going to be spending the rest of your life with. There’s something so romantic about just waiting and being patient until the one that you’re meant to be with comes along and sweeps you off your feet. But it’s also such a nonsensical way to go about finding love in your life. It’s very constraining, limiting, and shackling.

How do you expect to find the right person for you unless you actually go around and date different people? How do you expect to know how to go about love unless you experience it for yourself and learn from your mistakes? How do you expect to know what it is you’re looking for in love unless you go out and find out what you don’t like in relationships?

There is no possible way for you to figure out what you want out of relationships unless you go out and experience real relationships for yourself. You have to understand how you would work in a relationship and that requires on-hand experience. Sometimes, you need to walk, stumble, and fall a few times before you can actually get the hang of things.

A relationship isn’t something that you just fall into and you expect to know how to do everything properly right away. You aren’t always going to know what to do. In fact, a lot of the time, you’re always going to have to figure things out as you go along. It’s always a learning process. And how can you expect to learn how to make relationships last if you just keep on “staying single” until you meet the one? How do you know what “the one” is going to look like unless you know what all the wrong ones look like?

Never be afraid to fail in a relationship. Failure is not something that should cripple you and keep you down. Just because you are afraid of failing in a relationship doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t be getting in relationships altogether. You shouldn’t be afraid of making mistakes because these can all be taken as learning experiences. You shouldn’t be afraid of screwing up in a relationship because these have valuable lessons that you can use for yourself in any future relationships.

Love is not a perfect sensation. And it doesn’t require perfection from you either. Love’s imperfection is also what makes it so beautiful. Love’s imperfection is what makes it feel more real.

Falling in love doesn’t mean that you are going to be destined for a smooth walk in the park in a life of perpetual happiness. Even in a relationship with true love, it’s going to be filled with a lot of potholes, broken paths, and broken hearts. You aren’t always going to have an easy sail. But it’s still important that you learn the value of fighting on. It’s still important that you understand the value of endurance, persistence, and resilience in the midst of adversity.

And these are all things that you can learn if you are brave enough to go out and date. You have to stop waiting for love to just fall into your lap. You have to go out and take it for yourself. You have to make sure that when it’s time for you to fall in love, you are ready to do so.

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Love & Marriage

Sometimes, Being In Love Is Two People Being Weird Together

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As you make your way through life, you are going to encounter a lot of different kinds of people. There are going to be some individuals who will cause you pain and make you cry. You’re going to meet people who will make you so happy that you would be smiling from ear to ear whenever the two of you are together. There are going to be sure people who will make you laugh until your insides split. But even though you meet so many different kinds of people, you would rarely find someone who truly understands you.

As human beings, we all have this innate feeling to be accepted and desired by the people around us. We always want to be loved and adored. It’s as if we have this natural desire just to gain the good favour of the people we meet every day. But on a more fundamental level, we are always looking to be understood. We still want to make sure that people get why we exist and why we do what we do. Somehow, feeling understood almost feels like your existence is being validated. And feeling appreciated is a huge aspect of being loved by someone.

Most of the people that you’re going to encounter in your everyday life aren’t going to understand just what it is you’re looking for. A lot of the individuals that you consistently interact with aren’t going to get what you want out of life and what inspires you. Very few people are going to truly empathize with you whenever you’re going through the struggles and trials that you go through. The person who best understands you is going to be yourself. And it can feel lonely and overwhelming for a lot of people.

To make matters worse, a lot of people that you’re going to meet might even tell you that certain aspects of your life need to change. A lot of people are going to make you feel bad for liking a particular thing or being a certain way. You’re going to encounter plenty of individuals who will criticize and make fun of you. There are plenty of people who are looking to bring you down even though you only have the best and purest intentions. That’s just a fact of life. In your world wherein you are the protagonist, you are going to have specific antagonists who will look to contradict your every move.

And sometimes, it can get exhausting having to deal with these people. You know that you can’t just act on your own accord without regard for those around you. You understand that you have an individual responsibility to society. For you to be a functional member of the world, you need to adhere to certain social norms and expectations. That’s why you long for acceptance. You want to be liked because you think that the more people who are on your side, the better. You don’t want to be looking back on your life and see what you’ve been alone every step of the way. However, it can also be tiring having to subject yourself to the standards and expectations of other people.

This is where falling in love comes in. Because once you find that one particular person who is going to be able to bring a sense of joy, happiness, fulfilment, and excitement into your life on a level that no one else can, it’s going to be different. Sure, you might be having a hard time having to subject yourself to the corrupt and negative energy of others. You might be feeling overwhelmed. But with the person you love, you should always feel welcome to be your true and authentic self.

Moreover, you are always made to feel like you can be your “weird” and “off-putting” self because you know that you are never going to be judged. In love, there is no judgment. In love, there is no harsh criticism. There is always going to be understanding and patience.

When you fall in love with someone, you don’t have to put on a mask. You don’t have to hide behind any curtains or facades. You aren’t afraid of being judged or being called weird. When you fall in love, you know that there is someone who is always going to make you feel accepted no matter what you do or what you say. When you have someone who loves you, it’s going to be like nothing else you could have ever imagined. It will be like having an extended version of yourself just giving you the affirmation and validation that you crave from everyone else. Somehow, being in love makes your existence feel more valid.

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Love & Marriage

6 Great Love Tips to Make Your Relationship Healthy and Strong

Who doesn’t want to learn a few great love tips? You know, advice on how to find great love or hang on to the love you’ve got.

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Who doesn’t want to learn a few great love tips? You know, advice on how to find great love or hang on to the love you’ve got. Whether you are new to the dating scene or long-married, it can be helpful to read some love tips from those who are in successful loving relationships. We brought together a group of these happy couples (and one single guy!) and asked them to share with us some of their tried and true love tips so that we, too, can be part of that select group of joyful people.

1. Never take your partner for granted

Jesse and Kaitlin have been living together for four years. “Love tips? I’d say that our biggest one would be to never take your partner for granted,” says Kaitlin. Jesse agrees. “Everyday I tell Kaitlin that I love her and appreciate her presence in my life. I never let her head hit the pillow at night without telling her how special she is to me.

I was married before and I think part of the reason our marriage failed is that I took my wife for granted. I don’t want that to happen again so I’m quite mindful of reminding Kaitlin how grateful I am that we are together.”

2. Marry someone you not only love but truly like

Shirley and Robert are celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary this year. Shirley shares her love tips: “I married my best friend. I’m not kidding. Robert and I have been friends since elementary school. We started dating in high school and we got married after he graduated from the military academy.

Our marriage has seen a lot of changes; being in the Air Force meant we moved every couple of years. But since our love is anchored in a true friendship, we were able to navigate all these transfers. I know Robert has my back and I have his. There’s an unbreakable trust in our marriage that sees us through the challenging times. So my love tip is this: marry someone you not only love but truly like.

3. Sharing the same expectations from the relationship

Philip and Carolyn are have been dating for one year. Philip tells us his love tip: “I think for a relationship to work, both people have to have the same expectations of what they want out of the relationship. This may sound odd to some people, but Carolyn and I wanted to have an ‘open’ relationship, what they call polyamory these days.

My last relationship didn’t work out because my girlfriend wasn’t on the same page as me, she expected complete faithfulness and monogamy. I didn’t want that, so I broke up with her. Then I met Carolyn who is like me, wanting to have multiple experiences but also wanting one primary partner. My love tip is this: make sure your love partner has the same values and expectations regarding what you want out of the relationship as you, or you are setting yourselves up for conflict and disappointment.”

4. Sharing the same values and aspirations in life

Leah and Samuel are recent newlyweds, after having dated for two years. Leah tells us her love tip: “I’d date a lot before I met Samuel. We were set up by friends from our synagogue. I had noticed Samuel before; he’s tall and cute and fairly active in the temple.

But it wasn’t until we were set up that I had a chance to talk one on one with him. Right away I knew there was something there. We clearly had the same values and came from an identical background. So all the stress that can happen when you are your partner come from different socio-economic classes just wasn’t there. We had both graduated from the Ivy League and we both were working for well-known financial institutions. All of these things that we had in common made getting together smooth and easy. It’s like we speak the same language.

Listen: when I was younger I was all about dating ‘bad guys’, you know, guys who were from the wrong side of the tracks. I thought that was sexy and made me look daring. My love tip is this: for a relationship to work well with as little conflict as possible, marry someone who is like you in terms of upbringing and aspirations. It will make things much easier.”

5. Find someone who is different from you

Alisha and Randall tell a very different story. “I love that Randall was totally different from me. I don’t want a partner who is a carbon copy of my life. That’s just boring. I want someone whose narrative teaches me something, and Randall is like from another world.

He immigrated from Haiti when he was a teenager. His family was poor and uneducated but knew they could have a better life here in America.

Me?

Born and bred right here in New Jersey. No one could be more ‘typically American’ than me. I think great relationships are made when the two partners can teach each other something, so diversity within the couple is a good thing. My love tip? Look for that person that will open your world to something you didn’t even know you were missing.”

6. Define what you don’t want in a partner

Lastly, there’s Mark. Mark is not yet in a relationship, but active on several dating platforms. “Something I’ve discovered about finding love through dating websites is this: you can’t have a hard list of what you are looking for in a partner. But it is helpful to have a list of what you aren’t looking for.

I’m very open to being flexible about what I’m seeking, but there are a few non-negotiable things that say “no deal” to me as I look through the women’s profiles. And you have to stick to these non-negotiables, no matter how much you want to be in a relationship. My love tip is this: rather than knowing what you want, you’d do better with defining what you don’t want.”

These handy tips will definitely help you with your love life. While there is no specific recipe to a successful relationship, some simple advice can guide you get through it better.

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