Lies are always a slippery slope. And that’s why you always want to be treading lightly whenever you go through bouts of dishonesty in your relationship. You never want your partner to feel like they can’t trust you especially when it comes to the big and serious matters in life. You always want to be honest with one another as much as possible. A lot of the time, the level of honesty in the relationship is directly correlated to the strength of love between two people.
Sure, it might be okay to tell a little white lie here and there if you truly know that it’s for the good of your partner and the relationship. But for the most part, lying is selfish and it’s a blatant act of disrespect and betrayal towards the person you are supposedly in love with. If you find that you are actually lying about these 9 things in your own relationship, then it clearly isn’t going to last.
1. You lie about your emotional availability.
If you say that you’re emotionally available to someone even when you know that you’re clearly not, then you are doing a disservice to both yourself and to the person that you’re with.
2. You lie about your past.
Lying about your history is lying about who you are. Remember that your past has helped shape and define you as a person. And you want to always give your partner a better glimpse into the true nature of your personality. And that includes opening up about your past and your history.
3. You lie about financial issues.
There are so many relationships that have been wrecked as a result of financial issues. And you never want to be keeping your partner in the dark about that most especially if you’re already sharing your financial assets as a couple.
4. You lie about whether or not you want kids.
Ultimately, most people get into relationships with the purpose of forming families in the future. However, if you don’t subscribe to that kind of typical life path, then you need to be upfront with your partner about it. Your relationship won’t last if you will never be able to talk about or come to terms with this issue.
5. You lie about being unfaithful.
Cheating is something that is never going to be good for a relationship. However, there is evidence that shows that it’s still possible for couples to bounce back from bouts of infidelity. But if you continually lie about cheating on your partner, then you’re making it harder for your relationship to have a chance at working out.
6. You lie about your physical (or mental) health.
Health is never a joking matter in the relationship. You always want to make sure that you stay honest with one another as far as your health is concerned. When it comes to true love, it’s always in sickness and in health. But you have to first come clean about whatever health issues you might be dealing with.
7. You lie about your relationship expectations.
Whenever you get into a relationship, it’s perfectly normal for you to have certain expectations for your partner and the relationship. You are going to want certain things out of the relationship. And in order for you to have those expectations met, you need to be completely honest about them.
8. You lie about your sexual needs.
Sex is always going to be one of the most important facets of any modern relationship. And you can’t be lying about your sexual needs at all. As a couple, you need to both work together to make sure that your needs for physical intimacy are always being met.
9. You lie about lying.
And of course, whenever you lie to your partner about something serious, you always want to make sure that you come clean about that lie. You don’t want to end up covering that lie with more and more lies. You’re just going to end up digging that hole deeper and deeper for yourself.
At the end of the day, you always want to make it a point to stay honest and true with the person you’re in a relationship with. You always want to make sure that you never keep them in the dark about the important things. You never want them to feel like you would so willingly betray them or deceive them. They are your partners and they have a right to know everything that you do.
If you find yourself lying to your partner about the things listed in this article, then it’s highly likely that your relationship just isn’t going to last. These are things that you should always come clean to your partner about.
Mom-to-be Pens Heartbreaking Note to Husband After his Sudden Death
A newlywed woman wrote a tearful letter to her dead husband in her sleep.
Shannen, her Lissel, who married her beloved in September 2022, is currently mourning the death of her beloved husband.
The couple have been together for five years. They got engaged in May 2021.
In December 2022, Shannen and Connor discovered that her girlfriend Lissel was pregnant. They all celebrated the good news with excitement.
But unfortunately Connor couldn’t even care for his pregnant wife for more than a few weeks and she passed away yesterday.
“It is with a heavy heart that I write these words. Her husband Connor died suddenly in her sleep yesterday morning,” Shannen wrote on Friday.
“Connor was the love of my life. He’s been the best husband, the best friend, the best family, the best fur baby daddy. It was planned to be.
She added that her late husband was an adrenaline junkie and he loved adventure. He had many hobbies and loved to be outdoors doing adventures on beaches and mountains.
“He loved surfing, he loved being in the water at the beach, he loved a coffee and a choccie, he was so much fun to travel with, to have a laugh with friends and family, he was always trying to live an exciting life that he was proud of, trying new things like fly fishing,” she wrote alongside a beautiful picture of herself and Connor on Facebook.
“He worked hard, he loved being creative with his art and music and he gave his whole heart to those he loved and had such a huge heart, empathy, and care for people he met.”
She added that Connor, who was supposed to turn 30 this year, was the `most rare` person she had ever met.
“I am so proud that I got to become his wife and spend 5 years, and 4 months with him. The memories that we have I will cherish forever and I will live the rest of my days reflecting on ways I can be more like him.”
She continued, “And when I welcome our baby into the world, he or she will be surrounded by everyone that loved him, to share memories about how beautiful of a person he was, and his memories will live on.”
Reading this, many people commented on Shannen`s post and offered their condolences. “My condolences to my beloved Shannen. Sending lots of love and strength,” she wrote.
“Shannen, I’m so sorry for your loss. He was such an amazing person and he loved you so much and was sending you all his love,” said another.
“I’m so sorry for the loss of your baby,” one-third commented.
“I’m so sorry that this happened to you too. It’s really heartbreaking to hear this news. Life can be so unfair,’ she chimed in.
“You are not alone. There is endless support around you to help you get through this.”
A GoFundMe was set up in Shannen’s name to cover the costs of Connor’s memorial service and to help Shannen during this difficult time.
To date, GoFundMe has raised him $26,065.
Share your thoughts:
During this difficult time, our hearts go out to Shannen his Lissel. You can help her out by donating to her GoFundMe. Let us know your thoughts in the comments.
8 Keys for Breaking Bad Habits!
Bad habits are behaviors that are detrimental to our physical, mental, or emotional well-being. They can range from minor actions like biting your nails or procrastinating, to more serious issues like smoking or overeating. Some common bad habits include:
- Overeating or undereating
- Smoking or other substance abuse
- Lack of exercise or physical activity
- Excessive alcohol consumption
- Negative self-talk or thinking
- Gossiping or speaking negatively about others
- Spending too much time on screens
- Spending or wasting money
- Interrupting or talking over others
Breaking bad habits can be difficult, but it is possible with the right mindset and strategies. Identifying the triggers and creating a plan to replace the bad habit with a positive behavior can be helpful in overcoming the habit. Additionally, getting accountability and support from friends and loved ones, rewarding yourself for progress, and being patient and persistent can also aid in breaking bad habits.
8 Keys for Breaking Bad Habits!
- Identify the habit: Be clear about the habit you want to change.
- Understand the triggers: Identify the situations or emotions that trigger the habit.
- Find a replacement behavior: Find a positive behavior that can replace the bad habit.
- Make a plan: Create a plan to implement the replacement behavior.
- Get accountability: Find someone to hold you accountable for making the change.
- Reward yourself: Reward yourself for making progress towards breaking the bad habit.
- Be patient: Change takes time, so be patient with yourself.
- Stay persistent: Keep working on breaking the bad habit, even if you slip up.
True Motives for “Sorry, I Didn’t Mean It!”
When you are with a child or an adult, at some point you may be told, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to” or “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to.” to hurt you.” And the child or person continues happily as if nothing had happened.
But if we didn’t mean it, why would we? Why would we dismiss our actions so easily with a casual comment? The underlying meaning of communication is its truth
When we hurt someone, why do we ease their pain by telling ourselves it wasn’t what we meant? It’s like the “I don’t know” response from a teenager, a cryptic comment meant to discourage further discovery. However, “I didn’t mean to do that” became so obvious that it was accepted as the truth.
Let’s look a little deeper.
Every action speaks louder and truer than our words. When our words don’t match our actions, it’s our actions that show our true motives. Famous words of the late Austrian psychiatrist Dr. Alfred Adler:
“Trust only movement. Life happens on the level of events, not words.”
The biggest causes of toxic behavior are unprocessed emotions, unconscious pain, and unmet needs. Perhaps “unintentionally” means that it was not caused by any conscious thought or motive. But when you look deeper, you often find hidden feelings and unmet needs that you haven’t yet recognized.
When we hurt others, we hurt ourselves. Unkind acts towards others can be an unconscious way of communicating our pain and sending out an SOS that we are hurt. It may have been a specific person.
Of course, hurtful words can inadvertently come to the side if you drink too much or if your self-control is wavering because you’ve lost your ability to control yourself cognitively due to your addiction.
But even in these situations, there are words that derive from the unresolved emotions and pain that emerge when impulse control is compromised.
In children, their ability to control themselves is affected by developmental immaturity and brain development. As such, it is the responsibility of adults to control their emotions and teach them how to express them in a healthy way.
My point here is to be more aware of your feelings and pay attention to your words, which can help you hurt or build healthy relationships.
Motivation for driving behavior
How many times has your spouse come home and yell at your children? Did they do it because they were mad at their children? Not normal. A difficult day at work or the emergence of unmet needs is far more likely to be the cause.
A child may come to school and push other children or teenagers around to bully them. Another student may be emotionally humiliated not because the person did something to them, but because of feelings of helplessness, misunderstood inner conflict, or unacknowledged hurt feelings. Unloving behavior does not make a person bad. It makes you human. Also, unkind behavior usually indicates a need for self-care and self-compassion.
In all personal growth and in all relationships, the key to loving ourselves and each other is recognizing the roots of our actions.
We continue to lash out, react emotionally, and inadvertently lash out at others until we realize the causes of our actions and their beliefs. To improve communication, we need emotional intelligence and self-awareness.
Sometimes we have bad days and need someone to understand us, even if we are misbehaving. It’s also important to be honest. It doesn’t matter what your feelings are. Taking our whims out on others is undesirable in any relationship. Increased confidence: mean what you say, say what you want to say
You may have heard this proverb. Great advice. Search your heart every time you hear yourself say, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to.”
Is there any reason you could have intended it that way?
Have you experienced unintentionally repressed resentment because you were unable to express your feelings directly? Has this person recently ignored you or said something hurtful to you?
Or maybe it’s as simple as canceling a dinner date, even if there’s a good reason for it…how to recognize our inner motives and find what we need
A fundamental stepping stone to consciously loving and empathizing with others is identifying when you are unloved. If you do or say something unkind, ask yourself later. Be more honest with yourself. )
Next, find out what you need to do to restore your peaceful self-esteem. You may want to apologize, put on makeup, or talk to the person about what’s bothering you. Or maybe you just need to be more in touch with your emotions and empathize with yourself. Either way, act as soon as you feel what’s right.
Every time I go through this process, I feel inner peace and less and less anger towards others. Self-esteem grows every time you make a conscious effort to understand your true motives, rather than immediately dismissing your actions. And each time we take action to fix what is holding back intimacy in a relationship, more respect, intimacy and understanding are built.
The next time you hear yourself say, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to!” Dig a little deeper and find out if that’s true.